We always swear up and down with each new upcoming semester, we would be more prepared than the last...maybe. From knowing what books to actually purchase, memorizing rate my professor or knowing when to start studying for test, by the time we've become a college upperclassman we pretty much have it mastered (sort of). Don't get me wrong, we're not all the same and some things may be a little flip flopped but for the most part, we're all trying to figure out this game one save at a time.
1. First Day of Classes
Freshman: Waking up at least an hour and a half early to get ready and to find your new classes, campus map in hand.
Upperclassman: Waking up with just enough time to walk to your class wearing the same thing you wore to bed is your adapted style. Or did I really even wake up on syllabus day? No thank you.
2. "Books are on sale now in the Library" email received.
Freshman: $459.00 receipt in hand (or more), 40 lbs. (or more) of new book bag weight ready to go before the first day (check!).
Upperclassman: I have at least two more weeks until I REALLY know how much I'm going to use that book. But do I REALLY even need it? This is why I signed up for classes with my friends.
3. "Study at least 3 hours outside of class to every hour you have in class."
Freshman: I'll just start the week before, it sounds more logical anyways.
Upperclassman: (Nope, definitely not doing that) but if I calculate it right and start studying at 5 p.m. the day before and stay up all night then go straight to class, that'll be enough time to memorize all the chapters. By this point you've probably been caught studying in very odd places, like the bar (remember? you have studying mastered*)
4. "Are you looking like a hobo today or are you actually going to get ready?"
Freshman: Curling my hair and putting on make up wouldn't hurt anything. You NEVER know who you're going to see, right?
Upperclassman: By this time, who cares anymore. Everyone has seen you at your best and possibly your absolute worst (thank you college break ups and alcohol). Hobo it is.
5. Naps.
Freshman: I might take a nap once a week or once every now and then, I don't really have time to.
Upperclassman: I can take a nap anywhere, at anytime, I've actually learned how to find time. 7 minute naps, 4 hour naps, I don't discriminate.
6. Moms home cooking will never be the same again.
Freshman: I'm pretty sure I've mastered the arts of making cheese fries if I get cheese and bacon from the salad bar.
Upperclassman: "Hey mom, I'm going to need you to ship me some left overs. I ran out already, I'll be home soon." or if mom is too far away, five dollar pizzas never are.
7. College turns you into an alcoholic.
Freshman: I've been studying all week and I'll probably regret this in the morning...but it's not as bad of a decision as my ex was so...bring it on.
Upperclassman: My life motto is "You're not an alcoholic until you graduate." Gas station wine is your new go to. Oh and of course, still bringing it on three years later.
8. Parking tickets, parking tickets, parking tickets galore.
Freshman: As long as I'm early enough I'll get a parking spot. If not, I'll have to walk. I'll just become friends with the students who give out tickets eventually.
Upperclassman: WHY THO? I woke up 10 minutes before class and had to park in faculty. I'm sorry it's a very complicated life style and obviously I don't handle my freedom very well under pressure...sometimes. Running from across campus (I probably need it) was my last choice but I've definitely done it before. We both know by this point becoming friends is not going to happen.
9. Caffeine is a real addiction.
Freshman: I never really drank coffee before now, but I'm definitely starting to see the importance of it all.
Upperclassman: CAFFEINE GIVES ME LIFE. No really, the saying "No coffee, no talky" was created for a reason. Between late nights and early mornings, I have learned that not only is coffee your lifesaver but anything caffeinated is your bffl (best friend for life forever and ever amen).
10. Boys, most all boys, are very very odd.
Freshman: You have to introduce me to him! Who is he? Do you know him?? Is he smart???
Upperclassman: I know what he did last year. I know who he did last week. I watched him jump off of a roof two days ago. I've seen how he throws up (multiple times, obviously he's shameless). We all know how he is. I mean, he's pretty nice (looking). And I've never seen his friend before, but probably a no go. *cue eye roll*
11. Mastering the over load break down is a new form of art
Freshman: *sobs* "I just can't, do it anymore its the hardest and most stressful thing and I can't do it and I keep failing everything and I try so hard *sobs harder* what am I doing with life I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."
Upperclassman :*sobs* "I just can't, do it anymore its the hardest and most stressful thing and I still can't do it and I keep failing everything (even though you end up passing the class) and I try so hard *sobs harder* what am I doing with life I STILL don't even know what I'm doing with myself."
12. You've contemplated dropping out, every year.
Freshman: I googled how much strippers make at least twice this year but I also googled how much surgeons make. If I watch every season of Grey's Anatomy, I'm sure I could get into med school.
Upperclassman: Grey's won't help you with A&P 1, 2, or Micro Bio (just saying). But I'm on the right track! (...Right?)
Regardless of your college out come, at least somewhere down the line, at least once, you've probably (or going to experience) experienced something similar. College can be the best and the worst chapter in your life, just make sure you can remember at least 75% of it all and of course make good grades.
