Finals can be unbearable and seem to go on for days and days. The coffee flows as abundantly as the tears, and visions of sleep and Dean's-List-Worthy GPAs dance in students' heads. It is for this reason that hundreds of years ago, on a cold and snowy night much like this one, the olde tune of The Twelve Days of Finals was born. Meant to bring joy in the midst of pain, this holiday carol is sure get anyone in the spirit, even during the most dreaded days of the year. Put some smiles on your sleep-deprived faces, kids, and gather 'round the fireplace as we join in singing this treasured tune of graduating classes passed.
On the first day of finals, my professor gave to me:
A final grade of a solid B.
On the second day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Two all-nighters
And a final grade of a solid B.
On the third day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Three French assignments,
Two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the fourth day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Four calling moms,
Three French exams, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the fifth day of finals, my professor gave to me:
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the sixth day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Six essays and counting,
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the seventh day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Seven sudents a-crying,
Six essays and counting,
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the eighth day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Eight GPAs a-falling,
seven students a-crying, six essays and counting,
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the ninth day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Nine coffees a-pouring,
Eight GPAs a-falling, seven students a-crying, six essays and counting,
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the tenth day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Ten colds a-catching,
Nine coffees a-pouring, eight GPAs a-falling, seven students a-crying, six essays and counting,
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the eleventh day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Eleven graders grading,
Ten colds a-catching, nine coffees a-pouring, eight GPAs a-falling, seven students a-crying, six essays and counting,
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
On the twelfth day of finals, my professor gave to me:
Twelve finals finishing,
Eleven graders grading, ten colds a-catching, nine coffees a-pouring, eight GPAs a-falling, seven students a-crying, six essays and counting,
FIIIVE STUUUDY BREAAAKS,
Four calling moms, three French assignments, two all-nighters, and a final grade of a solid B.
I can only hope that these tried and true lines have brought some comfort to you amidst your piles of procrastinated work and stacks of unwashed coffee mugs. So the next time you're crying over that test that didn't do as planned or you're running out of energy in the middle of an all-nighter, just sing this to yourself. It'll seem totally normal, and I can almost halfway guarantee that it will help. If not, there's always next semester.
