'Twas the week before finals, and all across the Quad
Sleep-deprived students were praying to God;
The libraries were full with noses in books,
In hopes that this last test won't leave us too shook;
The professors were nestled all snug in their beds;
While the Dukes of JMU all studied instead;
And students got buzzed by coffee, hot and fresh,
To jumpstart their brains for a long night cram sesh,
Whether it be history, or English or the study of matter,
Students were silent, no noise and no chatter.
Away the pens went, they flew like a flash,
And buying more coffee with leftover cash.
The cries of the students who just don't get it,
Gave off a river of tears in this season of spirit,
“Why, this is supposed to be a time of joy," they all cried,
“But instead we're nervous and anxious and our brains are all fried,"
Some took study breaks to go and steal bricks,
Hoping that maybe, their notes will just click.
More rapid than eagles, doomsday drew near
And students would scream and shout and cry out in fear:
"Now, help me! now, save me! now get on with break!
On, coffee! on, Sparknotes! on, pills and headaches!
To the top of ISAT! to the top of Wilson Hall!
Now study away! study away! study away all!"
If only we can just get through this hell week,
We'll get to go home to relax and just sleep;
So up to the libraries the students they flew
To relearn the things that they used to knew—
For the students who never bothered to show up to class,
Are struggling and trying and kicking their ass.
As I trudged myself to another group study,
I look to the sky and yelled, “This is cruddy!"
But then something approached me all in fur, from his head to his foot,
It was a Quad cat! What luck! My hand on his head I did put;
They say if you pet a Quad cat during finals, you'll pass,
Perhaps this is a sign that I'll do okay in my class!
My eyes—how they're tired, welled up with fresh tears,
As I recalled my memories of this super fast year.
As the cat walked away, I looked at the sky,
“You'll pull through this," I said with a sigh;
My backpack is heavy with textbooks and notes,
The air is bone cold so we're bundled in coats;
As we head to the library for one more round
But not before stopping for a cookie at the Dog Pound.
Claim your spot fast before all the seats are taken,
And make a deal with the test gods that you won't be left shaken;
Running the chapters and notes through my head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And when I started to drift off, I would wake back up with a jerk,
Even though we hope this exam would be nothing short of a breeze,
Just keep in mind that C's get degrees;
Walking to my last class to finally face my doom,
My professor is standing at the front of the room.
And he said as we all sat down, ready to put up our last fight—
“Happy Finals to all, may your answers all be right!"