By this time I have driven through campus one last time, with my favorite scenery fresh in my rearview mirror. I have rolled into my driveway at home and unpacked my car, filled with the belongings that made up my life for the past four years. I have battled tears and come to accept that this heavy feeling in my chest, constituting of longing and sadness will most likely prevail for a little while. Because there is truly nothing like the four years you spend at college.

The truth is, I knew leaving my undergraduate life would not be easy. Driving away from the place that has transformed me from essentially a child to a confident adult is not supposed to be a flawless process. My heavy, yet grateful heart is proof of that. How is it possible that one can sit with a beaming smile and full heart, knowing they gave everything they could possibly give and be surrounded by the most incredible humans, yet simultaneously feel so empty knowing that this is all over. Because when you have it so good, when you have it made, when you have everything you could ever want and need right within walking distance, saying goodbye is not going to be easy.

My heart wraps itself around nostalgia without even second guessing the process. My mind has swam through the countless moments that made me laugh until I cried, that knocked me down and forced me to find a way up, and that made me a more empathetic and humbled human being. I have wandered back to my freshman year days, eyeing that nervous, anxious, eighteen year old, chuckling at the idea of that version of me being so naive and unaware of the impact this university would breed. I see a nineteen year old who traveled down many roads, found disappointment and was forced to rebuild, often gave more than took, and reevaluated friendships when necessary. I see a junior who stumbled upon their people and who became even more confident in their ability to change this world for the better. And finally, I so recently reflect on my senior self, the human who could not have been more content with the past year in their favorite place. An individual who strove to support all the human beings they cared about and who possessed a care free, fun loving, embrace it all persona.

There is evolution in these four years that we will all forever thank our undergraduate experiences for. The end goal is to be so in love with this life and to wake up everyday feeling grateful, sometimes not even understanding the true root of the happiness. There is so much beauty in possessing this elation, but when life closes this chapter in our life book, the heaviness and sadness that follow are more than validated. We all will miss something different about our four years of undergrad, but I do believe everyone's different experience end up falling into similar contexts and categories. You will miss the proximity of your friends, being a five minute walk away from your go-to people and the ease of walking through the front doors or their apartments or houses. Because these places were your second homes. You will miss your own cozy living space, the one filled with mishap furniture, random tapestries and posters, and roommates who make your heart soar. You will miss the late nights out with friends, the dance parties when your favorite song blares through the speakers, the cheap beer, and maybe even the hangovers. There was a story to tell with each and every one of them.

You may not realize it now, but you will miss the academic opportunities, the professors who saw a light in you, and maybe even those nights you put in 110% effort to pull off that paper, studying for that test, or preparing for that presentation. Because in those moments you worked your ass off to demonstrate your potential as a student and you succeeded. You will miss the scenery and the smells of campus, the campus traditions, and the buzz when students flock after a summer, especially when this fall rolls around.

In due time, you and your friends will scatter to all different points of this world, hoping to make a difference in one's own life and the lives of others. You will go forth, seeking to reach new heights. You will start over from scratch, forced to meet new people, build new relationships, and prove yourself to employers and graduate school professors. Forced out of your comfort zone, you will be nervous. You will wish you were back in your safety net of undergrad with the familiar people and surroundings, but in reality, these aspects are continually guiding us as we progress through this life. And we will prevail. We will succeed. We will be okay, even though it is so difficult to believe that currently.

As I rolled through campus one last time, that beautiful view in my rearview mirror, I felt tears begin to well in my eyes, my heart hurt a little more than usual, and chills overtake my arms, ultimately knowing I gave it all I could give. A good friend of mine once asked me what was holding me back from leaving this safe haven, and like every soon to be college graduate, I listed what was listed above: proximity, people, social life, and comfort in the classroom. His response empathized with these worries, but ultimately it was expressed that there was nothing else either of us had left to experience on this campus anymore, and in time, even if we did stick around, things would feel different. It'd lose its magic. Though it's hard for me to process now, sometimes endings come at the right time, whether we like to believe it or not. Just as those we really need in specific moments in our lives come at the right place, right time, so do these endings. They're foreshadowing a wonderful new beginning in this life, one that we will thrive in because of the lessons learned and people who have shaped us previously. Feel the sadness of leaving a comfort zone, but as time progresses, be excited for the future. A home never leaves you; you begin to live your life with it as a part of you.