With my birthday just passing this weekend, turning 18 last year was the big age, "officially" becoming an adult. But what does turning 19 mean? Good question, I don't know either!

I had a fabulous time spending half of my birthday sleeping in while reflecting in my bed how old I am getting. A couple years ago I would be planning birthday parties, inviting friends and family members over for a bbq and cake but this year I just wanted to lay in bed and rest as much as possible because having adult responsibilities now drains the life out of you. Well, that and so does having to work night shifts!

Turning 19 feels like nothing. At least to me, it felt like that. Nothing really exciting happens when you turned 19. For example, when you turn 13 your finally a teenager. When you are Hispanic and turned 15 you celebrate entering womanhood with a quincieñarea, you turn 16 and you get a sweet 16, 18 you're considered a legal adult and can run to a tattoo shop and get the tattoo you so desperately wanted without needing your parents to sign a permission slip. No worries, that's something I did NOT do! Yet.

So now what? I can continue to grow and mature on my own. Becoming one year older to me means becoming one year wiser. There are many things left for me to learn and do and 19 is opening a door in which I can finally stop being scared and do the things I told myself I couldn't do. When I was younger I was very shy, wanted to be invisible so no one could see me but now growing up things are very different. Those are things I no longer want as a 19-year-old.

I have been 19 for a few days now and for some unexplained reason, in just those few days I have been able to see the world and myself differently. I added things to my bucket list, I told myself I'm taking risks this year, becoming more open to others and myself. The older I get, the more I want to do and explore the world. So instead of asking myself "Now what?" the real question to ask is "What can I do to become better?"