Most people will say that Mondays are the worst day of the week. It’s the first full working day (unless there was a holiday) and the start of another 9-5 week. The light at the end of the tunnel (AKA Friday) is barely visible and that realization bums people out. I say otherwise. Tuesdays are actually the worst day of the week.
Sometimes on Mondays, I can ride the wave of the weekend and power through that first day. Mondays are refreshing, in a way, from the weekend activities and a return to normalcy and structure. People you didn’t see over the weekend will be there again on Monday and they’re excited to hear about your weekend as well as tell you a little about theirs. Monday is almost like a weekend hangover, but a good one. Tuesday is that sloppy hook-up with the skull-crushing headache and rancid morning breath you’d rather push out the door. Besides, in America, we get Monday Night Football as something to look forward to at the end of the day (or The Bachelor, if you’re into that…). There’s no TV worth watching on Tuesday.
Tuesday behaves more like a second Monday. It has no redeeming qualities, nothing to look forward to or reminisce about the day before and is sort of stuck on the calendar as this island made of trash and the broken dreams of children. It’s stuck in limbo and doesn’t know what to do, so it just sucks like that one friend who “didn’t even want to go out” in the first place and ruins what would have otherwise been a good night. On Tuesdays, there probably wasn’t anything exciting to talk about from Monday and there isn’t much to look forward to on Wednesday. This is the combination that makes Tuesday such an abysmal day. Tuesday is the day of the week that got stuck in solitary confinement, stuck in Day-of-the-Week Purgatory and stuck on you like a bad stain that even the mighty Tide can’t wash out. Monday and Wednesday by themselves are mediocre and bearable. Monday and Wednesday, when considered on a Tuesday, make Tuesday seem even worse.
Tuesday also doesn’t receive the good fortune of ever being a federal holiday. That special right is reserved for Monday and sometimes Friday. Tuesday will always be Tuesday and will always be a working day. The only time it’s not a normal Tuesday is actually the Fourth of July this year. The other nine federal holidays all fall on different days with seven of them falling on a Monday. That’s seven less Mondays for the year making the “real” tally of working Mondays to only 45. Guess what? There are still 51 “real” Tuesdays this year.
There is no silver-lining with Tuesdays. They’re all equally terrible and should be struck from the calendar, but then some other poor day would have to takes its place and I don’t hear any volunteers. Tuesday’s salvation will be forsaken and there’s nothing we can do about it… except go to Harpo’s and try to forget that we’re drinking on a Tuesday.
