Forgiveness is one of those words that makes my skin crawl.
It’s hard because it gets rid of the mad that we feel others deserve, and it can seem like the easy way out of situations when we know we have messed up.
There have been situations in my life where I know that I am justified in carrying a huge chip on my shoulder. There have been situations that happened years ago that I still mull over at times. I just can't shake it.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard I argue with God or try to justify why I shouldn’t forgive, my heavy brokenness tells me otherwise. Like Lot’s wife in Genesis, I turn back on my city of destruction and become paralyzed by the hurt and sins of the past.
Eventually, my inability to forgive leaves me exhausted. I have learned that forgiveness is more for me than it is for the other person. To lay down my heavy burden and live a life of freedom and peace is easier said than done, especially when I am plagued by the words and deeds said and done against me.
It’s in those moments where I have had to learn, and relearn again and again that I have a choice.
I have a choice to entertain the hurtful memory or give it to God and declare that I am trusting him with the situation.
Even when the hurt is still deep and raw and nothing about forgiveness makes sense, I put on the mind of Christ, and claim the personal victory in that moment of choosing forgiveness.
I drop my anchor in God's truth instead of the lies that I have been told by those who hurt me, setting myself free.
God is for us, he will cover our transgressions, just as he will those who have “trespassed against us”. We are called to forgive the way Christ forgave us.