Whether we like it or not, or fail to recognize it, we all listen to and look up to the media. It can be as simple as admiring a character in a tv show - the life she lives or the clothes she wears. Or it can take place in the car when you're singing with the radio to a catchy song like “Good For You” by Selena Gomez.

Personally, I am a fan of Selena. She’s a good singer with a great voice and one of the few that hasn’t fallen off the wagon and gone to rehab. But the other day when I was blasting her song on the loudest setting in my car, I thought about how it sounded. Not the bass, but the words. I was singing about making everything I do be for someone else -- to please someone else.

How is that the independent woman I want to be? Would that be how I want my friends or a sister or a daughter to be? I can definitely recall an occasion where a friend asked my opinion about two dresses for a function. I remember after telling her which one I liked, she said she did too, but that her date liked the other one better - both the color and its size. I remember being livid and saying that she should wear what she wants to wear and he should feel lucky enough to just be her date.

She’s not the first girl to feel this way. I know I definitely have and I’ve succumbed to it as well. I’ve worn something just because I knew he’d like it. I’ve done my hair and makeup even when I haven’t wanted to. So why do we do this? Why are we taking so many valuable steps forward as women and earning more respect everyday, but then taking steps back such as this one? Sure, some might say I’m overreacting and that girls my age know their worth and know the difference. But what about the 13-year-old girls that are growing up and in the most self conscious awkward time in their lives? Don’t you think that listening to songs like Selena’s on repeat might make them think this is expected? Guys only expect these things because we let them. If you really listen to the words, Selena sings as if she’s serenading a certain guy:

Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight

Do my hair up real, real nice

And syncopate my skin to how you're breathing

'Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you, uh-huh

I just wanna look good for you, good for you, uh-huh

Let me show you how proud I am to be yours

The song goes on talking about diamonds and how she wants him to be proud of her. I understand that feeling, but her song is missing talking about the other great aspects of herself -- the parts no one can see or judge from the outside.

I am a people pleaser. And sure, I love dressing up for a special guy and doing things he likes on occasion, but he should like me either way or he’s not worth my time. We “shouldn’t have to try so hard. You don’t have to change a single thing.” Wise words right? That’s because they’re Colbie Caillat’s and they come from her song “Try.”

It’s a much quieter song and not one you would necessarily blast in the car with all your friends, but it’s certainly one I find myself prouder singing. Her lyrics are empowering and what girls should be singing and feeling. She starts out the song with a little reverse psychology saying:

Put your make up on

Get your nails done

Curl your hair

Run the extra mile

Keep it slim

So they like you. Do they like you?

But then turns around and continues by saying:

Wait a second,

Why should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself

Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do the things Selena or Colbie sing about, but do them for a different purpose. Do them for you. Run that extra mile because of the way it makes you feel. Curl you hair and your lashes because it makes you feel pretty. Wear the skin-tight dress because you love the color and the fit and you deserve to show off your assets and the body you’ve worked hard for. It’s easier said than done. I find myself wondering about what others think of me all the time. But just try, try to look good for you - you’re the one whose opinion matters most.

I’m sure people have looked at me before and the clothes I wear and thought that I’m trying hard or for the attention of someone else, but odds are I wasn’t. I’ve definitely done it on occasion, but I wear the clothes I wear and do my hair the way I do because it makes me feel good. I am so self conscious and the opposite of confident. I struggle with my own body image issues as many girls do, but sometimes, for me, putting in the effort of doing my hair and makeup or throwing on a tight top and skirt does it for me. I feel better. Yeah, people can say what they want about that and me. Guys will always think what they will. You can't control or try to stop their minds from working the way they do, so why let it influence you? I do it for me and I’m not changing myself for someone else. When you look good, you feel good and that’s really my final message. When you feel good you’re confident and get things done. Don’t worry about walking in someone else’s shoes or about how you look in yours. Wear what you want and be who you are. Give it a shot and you’ll find that when you try to look good for you, you feel on top of the world.

If I haven’t convinced you yet, check out Colbie Caillat’s music video for “Try.” It’ll make you want to.