Whether you're giving or receiving, with a guy or a girl, are a seasoned pro or a first-timer, oral sex is always quite the experience. As with other sexual activities, it's got its perks and its drawbacks and its pros and its cons. For those of you that can either relate to these struggles or want to learn more about giving head, here's 15 truths that most people won't tell you about oral sex:
1. Sometimes, it tastes bad
You've probably heard that your fluids can sometimes taste different depending on the food you happened to eat earlier that day. But every person overall has a signature "flavor" that's unique to their body chemistry... and you just might not happen to like your partner's. And since your weapon of choice in the oral sex department is your tongue, taste factors into your enjoyment of the activity juuuust a little bit.
2. It can also smell weird
It's never exactly a perfume factory in someone's nether regions to begin with, but unless they're fresh out of the shower, it's possible that they might smell a little strange. Hopefully it isn't a nasty stench so much as a slight scent, since we are human and we do sweat from time to time. But just be prepared that you or your partner may encounter a not-so-pleasant or not-so-ideal fragrance when you hit the sheets.
3. Pubic hair can really get in the way
Whether you're giving oral to a male or a female, an unshaved genital area may be a bit of a roadblock when it comes to maximize their (and your) satisfaction. They don't have to be completely smooth for performing oral sex to be pleasurable, but a lot of hair can snag and fill you with the fear of accidentally flossing on their pubes. And the hair can also trap bacteria and sweat, so…again, the scent might completely kill your arousal if you're not lucky.
4. And piercings can, too
I know someone who once lost the orb on their septum ring in their girlfriend's vagina during cunnilingus. Other kinds of nose and mouth piercings might make it a little more difficult for you to exercise your potential when you're down under, too. They could even cause your receiver some pain mid-act. Either way, it's worth it for you to think about whether or not your jewelry should come off during sex, both for you and your sexual partner's sake.
5. It's messier than you'd think
When it comes to oral sex, the combination of saliva and ejaculate is impossible to avoid (but thankfully is not impossible to remove from your sheets or clothing). You can definitely expect a lot of wetness in the vicinity when you're giving head—on your lips, the tip of your nose, your chin, and on the blankets you're laying on for sure. You'd like to think that you are taking care of all of this while you're between their thighs, but this is one mess you won't be able to escape entirely.
6. You need some space to position yourselves if you want to be comfortable
Giving oral sex in an uncomfortable position will kill your arousal in record time. Your neck will ache, your back will stiffen, your arms will go numb…and then it's suddenly more like a chore than it is a sexual activity. Small spaces like the backseat of a car, a bathroom, or a cluttered closet are not your best choices if mutual enjoyment is important to you and your partner. If you want the giver to look the slightest bit satisfied, then you should give them a little wiggle room.
7. Being so close to someone's butt can be terrifying
What if they didn't shower earlier? What if they just recently went to the bathroom and didn't wipe well enough? What if it's just plain nasty and you accidentally touch it?
There's a lot of what-ifs when it comes to nearing another person's anus. You don't intend on exploring that region today, and it intimidates you just a little bit to know that one false move and your tongue is somewhere you never wanted it to be. Try your best not to destroy your sex drive with your tendency to envision the worst here.
8. The fear that you'll accidentally pee on them is too real
Sometimes, the buildup of an orgasm can really feel similar to the sensation you get when you're about to urinate. So, of course, now you feel compelled to warn your partner that you might pee at any moment while their mouth is still on your genitals. Resist the urge to worry—if you emptied your bladder not too long before getting frisky, you should be fine.
9. It's definitely possible to suck at giving head
Contrary to popular belief, oral sex is a lot more involved than it looks. While our mouths are doing most of the work, you have to maintain those motions while also incorporating your hands in order for your partner to feel satisfied. That being said, it's easier than you think to be sub-par at giving head. Multitasking isn't everyone's strong suit, after all. Sorry, guys and girls, but just a little tongue and sucking action isn't going to be enough.
10. The face-sitting position is harder than it looks
Sitting on someone's face is a one-woman (or one-man, I won't judge) balancing act. You have to hold yourself steady above your partner—not too high, but also not low enough that you apply too much pressure and break their pretty face. You also need to grip onto the bed frame or something else to keep you in place once your legs get tired. And you need to enjoy yourself all while this is going on… so it's not a walk in the park by any means.
11. You WILL smell like your partner's vagina for a while after
By the time you've brought her to climax, your lady's vagina will (hopefully) be very lubricated— both with your saliva and her fluids. You'll notice that the distinct scent of her come is lingering on your fingers, on your lips, and in your nose. And that's to be expected. A woman's vagina is very acidic and thus has a particular aroma to it that most everyone can recognize. So if you're getting it on in a public setting, it's probably a good idea to have some mouthwash or minty gum handy.
12. Bits of toilet paper might be stuck in there
This is more prevalent when you're performing oral sex on a female partner since she, unlike a guy, would have had to use toilet paper after urinating. It's possible that small scraps of paper could be left behind if she didn't clean herself too carefully. And they could end up right on your tongue, just where you (had not) wanted them. Now, I won't say that this little discovery will ruin your night and kill the mood, but I won't exactly deny it, either...
13. Oral sex is actually hilarious sometimes
Let's face it: sex is funny. The noises, the expressions, the bodily functions and accidents… everything that comes with it can be comedy gold. And once you bring your mouth into play, there's even more possibilities for laughs about what you're seeing, feeling, hearing, and even tasting.
14. Receiving typically feels better than giving
It's okay to admit it; sometimes, you'd really rather not wrap your lips around your partner's naughty bits. You'd much rather sit back and let them please you for a while. Which is understandable, since performing oral sex can be very tiring and time-consuming. But it's also important that your partner is okay with your unwillingness to reciprocate; you should agree on an alternative that you wouldn't mind giving them after they're done.
15. You might not achieve orgasm from oral sex alone
Some of us have no problem getting off in record-time no matter what's done to our bodies in bed. But most of us take a bit of time to really build up all of that sexual tension and let it go. So if it takes you a long time and a lot of stimulation to orgasm, oral sex might not be your ultimate bedroom act—and that's definitely not unusual. You can use it as foreplay instead to give you and your partner a sneak preview of all the fun that's to come later on. But even if you don't come, let's be honest—oral sex feels amazing regardless.
As with any forms of sexual contact, oral sex does come with risks of contracting STDs and other nasty kinds of infections. Communicate with your partner about getting tested if you've had unsafe sex in the past and go the extra mile to make sure you are both being careful in your current relationship. And don't forget that oral sex is sex and does require mutual consent each and every time you do it.
Have fun and be smart, y'all.