During my freshman year of high school, my mom started to have chronic pain. She was unable to do a lot of things she normally would have, and with my stepfather working full time I had to take on many responsibilities that had to do with raising my three-year-old brother. These are a few things I learned while taking on this responsibility.

I grew up and matured very quickly.

It was hard accepting the fact that I couldn’t do things normal people my age did. My life consisted of school and taking care of my brother. However, this really helped me get my priorities straight, I had no time for drama and no time to make mistakes. To this day, many adults I meet are surprised at the level of maturity and wisdom I have for my age. It was stressful, but this is one thing I see as a positive, it helps me stand out from others.

I learned how to be optimistic.

My situation was hard, but it was not horrible. I loved my brother and loved spending time with him and watching him grow. I learned to stay positive because being negative causes people to shut down and I had no time for that right now. I always had to push forward.

I genuinely enjoyed it.

Once I got over the whole, “I didn’t choose this for myself” stage, I enjoyed watching him learn new things and I’m so happy that I was able to contribute to what kind of person he is growing into.

It was a very good life lesson.

Being a parent is very hard and it teaches you so many things. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to learn all of these things before most people are able to.

Parental instincts are real.

I’ve noticed that my brain has really rewired itself since I started taking care of my brother. I have become a much more empathetic person, I am quickly able to find constructive ways to diffuse situations, I’m quickly able to identify consequences of actions, and I have a natural instinct to take care of other people. All of this has really helped me in college. Most of my friends call me mom and I’m the first person many people go to for advice or when they are sick and need someone to take care of them. I can’t explain how I know many of these things, it’s like I just woke up one day with all of this new information.

I know the difference between being able to care for a child and being ready for a child.

I am able to be a parent to a child, but I am not ready for a child. I have career goals and want to finish school. Just because you are able to care for a child, doesn’t mean that you should have one. There’s a lot of work you need to do for yourself as an individual before you halt your life to care for another person.

I became very independent.

I learned how to rely on myself for everything because another person relied on me for everything. I know what I need from life and I know how to get what I need on my own. I can feel complete on my own and do not need another person to make me feel complete.