The Truth About Being A Music Major

The Truth About Being A Music Major

It's not all happy melodies.

The beginning of my semester was really rough. As a music major, I've always had a crazy schedule. But man this first week of school was a whole new realm. My semester schedule changed probably about 10 times and I did not have an official schedule until the Thursday (yes, THURSDAY) of the first week of school. I'll probably be at school for 20 hours a week, and that doesn't even include meetings, recital hours, and practicing.

Being a music major just kind of sucks sometimes. It eats up all of your time. It isn't unlikely to be at school from eight in the morning until five in the afternoon. If you have any free time, you're doing something wrong. You have to spend that time practicing or studying or finishing assignments. Don't even get me started on trying to find a job.

It is like we can't have our own lives. Sure, I go out with concerts or performances we have to attend. I need to make money and have a job, but it's practically impossible with my schedule. And let's not forget sleep has to fit in there somewhere. Oh, and eating is important.

I mean really there is so much work involved in being a music major. I don't understand why people STILL think we just play music and that it's an easy degree. Music majors are the first to arrive on campus and the last to leave. Our "easy" degree requires hours of practicing and studying. It's also super competitive.

It doesn't even seem worth it half the time. I'm so tired of not being able to find a job or practicing two hours a day and still not feeling prepared. I'm tired of altering my schedule to fit rehearsals and extra meetings. I could've done something that didn't leave me so stressed and frustrated. I could've found a degree or profession that didn't claim all of my time. But, I didn't. I chose music.

I chose music because I love it. I love everything about it. I love to learn about it and play it and listen to it. Even in the little free time I get, I find myself still working on my music. I can't wait until the day I get to go out and practice my degree. Although the major doesn't feel worth it right now, I know it will be. Doing what I get to love every single day is going to be the most rewarding experience. I'm going to get a paycheck for doing my favorite thing in this world, that's insane!

So, I guess I can deal with this hectic schedule a little longer. Maybe I can't find any free time, but at least my time is being spent working on something I love to do.

Cover Image Credit: Deviant Art

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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God Changed My Heart My Junior Year Of College

God isn't asking you to figure it all out. He's asking you to trust that He already has.


Junior year was really tough for me. Finally diving into my major of sociology and my minor in criminal justice. The entire time, I kept thinking "if this is God's plan and if this is what He wants for me then I'll succeed." And I did. By the of this spring semester, I was so worried and stressed about my grades because many were on the borderlines. But God came through for me. He made me succeed, even when I felt like I was defeated.

Last semester I prayed to find an organization to belong to on campus. God brought me to Phi Lamb with a sorority of sisters who all love and encourage one another. God changed my heart. He taught me how to be more kind, more patient, more sincere, more genuine, more authentic, more me. I had a plan for myself. I knew I wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but God had something better in store for me. Everything was put in my path so that I could overcome it and I could be a better person because of it. If I hadn't found out that being a teacher wasn't in my cards, I wouldn't have found out what I really love learning about- sociology and criminal justice. This decision turned out to be a huge blessing, even though I didn't see it at the time.

This semester was also really difficult for me because I did the first 2 and a half months of classes while completely focusing and giving school my 110% to come home over spring break and find out that my grandpa had passed away with the first night of me being back home. I think my grandpa had a lot to do with my grades too because he knew that I was really interested in criminal justice just like he was. I could tell that he was excited for me and for the direction in which I am going. He always motivated and encouraged me. After returning to school at the end of March, I lost a little bit of motivation. Things had gotten harder for me and overall I felt like I was struggling a lot more than I was before. There hasn't been a day that goes by that I don't think of him, or write to him. I had to keep going, I had to. I had to make him proud and I had to make myself proud; which I know I did. I fought my way through the rest of the semester praying and hoping that I could handle it.

I know better than to let my grades define me and it's easier said than done. But I can't tell you how disappointed I felt to know that I didn't make the grade I wanted or the grade that I thought I had earned when I got a C instead of a B in a class. I always have stuff in the back of my mind, all the time. My mind had flashbacks of the many hard days at school or the late nights of studying or all of the hard work I had put in. Here's that word again that I'm thinking of: ENOUGH. "Why am I not enough? Did I not do enough? Did I not study enough? Did I not try hard enough?" I think that's the controlist and perfectionist in me, always striving to be better and to do better and for things to go MY way. But it was never about MY way; it was about GOD'S way. But then unexpectedly one night, I decided to check my final grades one more time and 3 of my professors has unexpectedly bumped up my final grade in their classes (which was on the borderline and had completely stressed me out.) I didn't think any of my professors would do that for me- but it was so kind that they did. This has never happened to me before but I am really grateful that it did. I was shocked and couldn't believe it. I am still amazed and I continue to be.

Follow God and His plan will come through for you too. God isn't asking you to figure it all out. He's asking you to trust that He already has.

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