The Truth About Thanksgiving With Divorced Parents
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Truth About Thanksgiving With Divorced Parents

Though it's been years since they split, certain things are still hard.

584
The Truth About Thanksgiving With Divorced Parents

My parents have been divorced for almost ten years. They’ve been separated even longer than that. So, trust me when I tell you, I am over it. I recognize that their relationship simply did not work out the way they intended and in reality no one was at fault. However, there are still things that sting a little. There are days when my attitude about my parents’ divorce can only be described as bitter. Generally, that feeling hits around the holidays. Usually the holidays are ok. Christmas Eve with one parent, Christmas Day with the other. New Year’s Eve with one parent, New Year’s Day with the other.

Then, there’s Thanksgiving, the only event of the holiday season that only encompasses one day. That means each year I have to choose to spend that special Thursday with either my mom or my dad, and never with both of them. In a perfect world, alternating every other year would be the best way to do it. However, getting family together for the holidays can be a challenge, especially when they are spread out over the country. So, the year you are supposed to spend Thanksgiving with your dad’s family may be the same year a favored aunt from your mom’s side of the family is coming to town. When that happens, alternating years is not ideal. Should you miss out on seeing your aunt simply because it’s your dad’s year? Or should you skip your dad’s that year and spend Thanksgiving with mom to see your aunt? If you do that, what happens to the alternating schedule for future Thanksgivings? Do you go with your dad two years in a row to even things out? Or should you cut your losses and see your dad next year and your mom the year after that?

So, clearly alternating each year is not going to work. Choosing to not have a set schedule is another option. I fall into this group. My family is usually pretty go-with-the-flow about Thanksgiving and who’s going where, although my dad has gotten the majority of the Thanksgivings since my parents split. However, this option is just as awkward and complicated. By mid-October the questions from both sides begins. “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” “Have you decided where you’re going yet?” “Is your father/mother doing anything?” Usually, the answer to all three of those questions is “I don’t know yet.” Without having a schedule, divorced parents tend to assume that their kids are going to go to whichever parent is having a bigger gathering. Maybe it’s because both sides of my family are not the best at coordinating holiday events, but usually both my mom and dad are asking me what I’m doing for the day when neither of them have concrete plans yet either. How could I possibly know what I’m doing if no one else knows what they’re doing?

Despite all of this, I love Thanksgiving. It’s my absolute favorite holiday. I love cooking and all my favorite foods tend to show up on the Thanksgiving smorgasbord. It doesn’t seem fair that the moments leading up to the big day are more stressed than those of the average family. All the theatrics involved with planning out this event leave me feeling some type of way about having to navigate through my parents’ divorce even after all these years. So, even though normally I’m okay with how my family functions, these days tend to be just a little sore.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

A Beginner's Wine Appreciation Course

While I most certainly do not know everything, I feel like I know more than the average 21-year-old about vino, so I wrote this beginner's wine appreciate course to help YOU navigate the wine world and drink like a pro.

1213
Pexels


Keep Reading... Show less

Who doesn't love ice cream? People from all over the world enjoy the frozen dessert, but different countries have their own twists on the classic treat.

Keep Reading... Show less

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading... Show less
Christmas

Remember The True Meaning of Christmas

“Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

7274

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. Christmastime is a celebration, but have we forgotten what we are supposed to be celebrating? There is a reason the holiday is called Christmas . Not presentmas. Not Santamas. Not Swiftmas. Christmas.

boy standing in front of man wearing santa claus costume Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash



What many people forget is that there is no Christmas without Christ . Not only is this a time to spend with your family and loved ones, it is a time to reflect on the blessings we have gotten from Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.


Keep Reading... Show less

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog . I am constantly talking about my love for her. I attribute many of my dog's amazing qualities to her breed. She is a purebred Golden Retriever, and because of this I am a self-proclaimed expert on why these are the best pets a family could have. Here are 11 reasons why Goldens are the undisputed best dog breed in the world.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments