If you’ve dated anyone before, chances are you’ve told yourself the lie that is “right person, wrong time.” This little lie makes you feel better about a failed relationship and gives you a false hope to hold on to in the future. I am someone guilty of believing this and having this false hope of lost love somehow returning to me. Lately, though, I’ve realized that if it truly is the right person, there cannot be a wrong time.
I am a firm believer in soul mates, I believe we all have one person we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with. Your soulmate will not be the person who walked out on you when your relationship got too difficult; your soulmate will not be the one who left because they decided that they weren’t ready for the commitment. Once you find the right person, your soulmate, they’re going to realize that they too have found their soulmate and they’ll fight for you the same way you fight for them. There is no right time to fall in love, life doesn’t get easier just because you’re in a relationship- if anything, life gets harder because you’ve got another person to consider when making decisions. Life is hard all the time, but if it’s the right person by your side then you’ll make it through life together.
Many of us have dated someone that we’re still holding out for, a piece of us still hopes to rekindle a love we lost long ago. It’s a romantic and beautiful thought, but a toxic one too. Reserving a piece of your heart for someone you lost long ago, only keeps you from being completely happy and free. No matter how happy you are, a piece of you is unmoved and remains despondent because you’re too afraid to completely let go of the past. As great as the memories are, they are just memories. It will feel like you’re waiting for the right person to come back into your life to reclaim you when really, you’re just letting the wrong person continue to dictate your life.
Once you free yourself from hanging on to that wrong person, life gets easier. Your shoulders feel lighter, breathing comes easier, and the rainy days don’t seem so bad. Being alone no longer feels like you’re waiting for someone to come back, it just feels like you can finally be on your own. At first, it’s hard because you have to accept that you don’t know who or what comes next and for the time being you are on your own. Eventually, though, you realize you aren’t actually alone, you’re surrounded by amazing people who gladly call you a friend and would follow you through any fire. You suddenly have all this love and time to spend on yourself and it’s overwhelming. Your life becomes your own again.
The truth is, the time is never right. Life stops for no one if it did love would probably be a lot easier- but it’d be a lot less genuine too. So stop telling yourself that it's the “right person, wrong time,” because the right person is going to fight for you and for your relationship. If they’re not willing to fight for you, they’re not worth your own time or love.
