I am now approaching my senior year of college, and it seems that all at once reality is hitting me. I am now nearing the end of something that seemed like it would never end: the heaping load of classes over four long years to complete two Bachelor of Arts Degrees.

Honestly, I'm scared out of my mind.

There are some nights when I lay in the too-small twin-sized bed that I've had since I was eight, in my childhood bedroom, thinking way too much about what's to come. I wonder if this will be my last summer spent at home, working my summer job, and living in the house I grew up in. I'm filled with an intense dread when I think of having a real job, while really living on my own, paying a stack of bills, and being indebted to an insurmountable student loan. I wonder if time really starts to fly by like my parents, and people who are older than me really say it does. I don't want to blink and be forty and regret the choices I've made now that I'm twenty and preparing to venture out into the world.

Sometimes I think that I overthink, and wonder if it's really worth all of this mental anguish.

Time is already flying by too fast. I know that I am not the only one who at 20 years old, has no solid career plan, but it still worries me. I've purposefully dodged any attempt at narrowing down my career path: first by coming to college undeclared, next by deciding to earn two degrees: one in Psychology, and one in Communication.

But now comes the tough part. I have less than a year to decide what I actually want to do with these degrees I've worked so tirelessly to earn.

When people ask, I say that I want to be a therapist. I recite my well-thought-out plan. I'll graduate with two BA's in 2017, at 21. I'll move to the Boston area, and find a full time job of some sort. I'll enroll in graduate school there and complete a Counseling Licensure program...and then, BAM, I'll be taking clients in 2020.

But then, there's a voice inside of my head that wonders if being a therapist is what I really want. What if I want to pursue my PR degree? What if I want to continue being a radio DJ? What if I want to pursue a record deal and try to make a living off of the songs that I write in my spare time? Or write a book? Or bartend? Or pretend that none of this is even happening and make believe that I'm back in the fifth grade?

I know that everyone gets to this chapter of their lives: the part when we realize that our childhood is over, and it's time to be an adult. Like many before me, I wonder: Why did I want this when I was thirteen? Adulthood is a falsely advertised ripoff, but also inevitable. I also have a feeling that nobody really has it figured out, no matter what they say.

Maybe my big "a-ha" moment will come, and the stars will align, and I'll have this magical epiphany of what I'm supposed to do with my life. Or maybe, like everyone else, I'll just have to ride this wave and see where my journey takes me.

Until then, I'll be holding onto this final year of college as tightly as I can.

Peace.

Each week I share a song that I've written that relates to this week's topic. This week's song is called "My Hometown." I wrote this during my freshman year of college, after realizing that moving away and growing older does not magically transform you into a successful person. This is a live version.