"I was adopted." This is something that you cannot tell by looking at a person alone. It is not something that comes up in small talk or casual conversations. It is not something that anyone would assume if meeting me for the first time. All that they know about me at first glance is that I am Asian--not that both of my parents are Caucasian, or that my brother is Chilean. All they see is me.

When I was growing up, I was sometimes asked "Why don't you look like your parents?" by other children. To me, not resembling my parents or my brother was never a big deal. In fact, it was my norm--it was what I grew up with. My parents adopted me from South Korea when I was five months old, and they always talk about how blessed and lucky they are that they were able to do so. My adoption was never something they kept hidden from me or my brother, who was adopted from Chile as a baby, and they were always more than willing to tell us anything we wanted to know about it. It is a fact about myself that I never thought about twice.

Adopting a child is not always about "saving the world" or "making the world a better place." Yes, when you adopt a child you give it a loving environment to grow up and flourish in. You give the child an opportunity to mature and evolve into the wonderful person that he or she wishes to be. However, a majority of parents who adopt a child, do not do it for the sole sake of looking like some sort of Saint sent down from the heavens above. Rather, most parents adopt because they are physically unable to conceive, and they want to have a child to raise and love. They want to have a child that will look up to them, be embarrassed by them when they chaperon school dances, and who will come to them for advice, love and support. They will do anything in the world to obtain that. This leads me to my next point: adoption is not a simple process. It takes time, investment, and a great deal of research. Adoption puts a great deal of stress on parents. Even if every single background check goes well, and you appear as the perfect parents to adopt, there is still a large chance that something can go wrong during the process and you will not end up with the results you hoped for. My parents are extremely grateful that they were able to adopt my brother and I successfully, however, this is not always the case for parents--the fear that the birth mom may change her mind or that another family will get the child before you could devastate parents who are hoping and praying for their own child. But, if you are blessed enough to get the call saying that you will have a baby in your arms in the near future, I can only imagine it is one of the happiest feelings in the world.

Another thing: being adopted is not an insult. The amount of times I hear siblings bickering with each other, ending with one telling the other that he or she was adopted in a degrading tone of voice, is too often, and it is one of the most annoying things I have ever heard. The word adoption is tossed around as an insult, and maybe it is because I actually was adopted and I understand what goes into the process, but let me tell you: being adopted is most definitely not an insult. If anything, it is a compliment. Being adopted means that your parents wanted you so much that they endured the extensive, strenuous process that is required for adopting a child. It means that your birth parents wanted you to live the best life imaginable, and maybe due to certain conditions they were unable to provide that for you, so they sacrificed their love for you so that you could be happy. So no, being adopted is not an insult that you should use against your siblings, because children who are adopted are just like you, surrounded by family members who love them more than you could ever imagine.

Another question that people tend to ask those who were adopted is "Do you ever want to meet your real parents?" Well, to anyone who is wondering, I already have met my real parents--when I was home, I saw them every day. My "real parents" are the two people who have watched me grow and evolve in my life--they are the ones who came to every dance recital, band concert, volleyball game and track meet I have ever had. They are the ones who went to all of my parent-teacher conferences, read me bedtime stories as a child, and gave me all of the advice they could in difficult situations. They are the ones who put up with all of my stubbornness, bad moods, celebrations, birthday parties, and every other celebration and milestone in my life, both large and small. Your "real parents" are your support system, your biggest fans, and the people who helped you grow to be who you are today. If you mean to ask someone about their biological parents, that is a different story. But, my "real parents" are sitting in New Jersey, waiting for me to come home from school so we can have family dinners and watch HGTV together again.

Adoption is a concept that can be confusing to many, especially if they have not experienced it in their families themselves. But, what everyone needs to know is that adoption is one of the greatest things that can happen to a family. They can welcome a new life into their family who they can love and nurture. Personally, what it comes down to is that adoption is not an awkward or uncomfortable topic to discuss, personally, I enjoy answering questions about it. It is most definitely not something I am ashamed of. I love my family, and I could not imagine my life any other way.