Next summer my friend is getting married.
I am eighteen years old and I have always been single. Older friends of mine joke about all of their friends getting hitched before them. I had always imagined this happening after my college years, not during.
Nevertheless, here I am, more than joyful for my friend and her husband to be. Despite all that excitement I feel for her, there's an underlying, selfish nagging in the root of my heart. A small part of me wonders where my happily ever after is. If you were to ask those who know me to describe me in one word, that word would not be patience. My lack of patience is beginning to surface with the knowledge that girls my age are bringing their Pinterest-board perfect dream days to life. I have my fair share of white lace dresses pinned. Though my idea of a "perfect life" has fluctuated over the years, the idea of walking down the aisle has stolen my heart. My current life path doesn't necessarily point toward that future. Sure, I write letters to my future husband and pray for him, but there's still a twinge of doubt in my mind. What if these prayers really are all for naught? Am I just wasting my time?
Nowhere in the Bible does God promise each and every one of His children a spouse. Knowing this makes me anxious, which in turn, makes me upset. While I desire to someday love and be loved, I'm disgusted that the possibly of a different future makes me question God's character. If God isn't here to bring me the Boaz to my Ruth, then what is He here to bring?
I'm not the only single Christian girl who has started to doubt God's plan for her. After time, I believe myself and those like me can begin to value their dreams over the ones God has for us. Instead of chasing His plans, we chase our own. They are familiar and safe. God's may be foreign, but they are good. Jeremiah 29:11 reveals to us a bit about God's character. His plans for us, according to that verse, are prosperous and hopeful. God doesn't say His plans are ours. He doesn't promise a white picket fence housing 2.5 kids and a spouse. No, His plans promise to be greater than ours could ever be. While I want to hold on to my own futures plans, God beckons me to lay them down for something even better. He isn't here to grant my three wishes and then take off, He's invested in my life and desires for it to be full. His goodness isn't based of off whether or not I will wear a ring on my left hand, it's based off a love even greater still.
Trusting in Him begins with setting aside my plans and making way for His. God's character has never been and will never be defined by my relationship status. In fact, in the wake of His love and grace, it seems rather insignificant.
With Love,
Maddie
