Donald J. Trump has taken the nation by storm, one racist remark at a time. At first, we all looked at him as a joke—a real-life SNL skit. But now, months until the 2016 presidential election, he is the Republican front runner. With six candidates remaining in the right-wing party and two remaining in the left-wing party, it may be hard to determine which candidate best reflects what you want to see from our country. I have used intensive research and scientific algorithms to create a quiz that will help Americans narrow their presidential options.
Take this quiz and keep track of your answers to find out whether or not you should vote for Mr. Trump!
Q: What political party are you a part of?
a.) Republican
b.) Democrat
c.) Moderate
d.) Neither/Not Sure
Q: Are you a business major?
a.) Yes
b.) No
c.) I’m undecided, but not considering business.
d.) I'm undecided, so it's possible I could be.
Q: Do you hate women?
a.) Yes
b.) No? What the f*ck?
c.) Sometimes
d.) I hate everyone lol
Q: Are you a racist?
a.) Yes
b.) No? What the f*ck?
c.) Sometimes
d.) I hate everyone lol
Q: Do you enjoy overusing the word “China?"
a.) Yes
b.) No? What the f*ck?
c.) I think I say it a moderate amount.
d.) idk where china is lmao
Q: Do you believe all Mexicans are rapists/criminals?
a.) Yes. Maybe some of them are good people. Maybe. But they’re definitely rapists and criminals.
b.) No? What the f*ck?
c.) I’m sure there are Mexican rapists and criminals. Just as there are American rapists and criminals.
d.) idk any mexicans lmao
Q: Do you believe climate change is a real thing?
a.) No, it was made up by China to distract us.
b.) Yes, of course! It's a dangerous environmental crisis that needs to be carefully addressed.
c.) Yes, but it’s probably not as big of a deal as some make it.
d.) the f*ck is climate change?
Mostly A’s: No, you shouldn’t vote for Donald J. Trump.
You seem to relate to many of Mr. Trump’s policies, but still: you should not vote for Donald Trump. Whatever you do, do not vote for him. I'm begging you. America is begging you. I don’t care if he speaks his mind and you like his “political incorrectness;" do this country a favor and put your ballot in for another candidate. Also, you may or may not be a racist or a misogynist. Fix that first. And stop blaming immigrants and China for everything.
Mostly B’s: No, you shouldn’t vote for Donald J. Trump.
And you’re probably the last person who would! Congratulations! Mr. Trump stands for nothing you believe in and you wouldn’t be caught dead voting for his racist, scapegoating campaign. Smart cookie, you’ll go far in life.
Mostly C’s: No, you shouldn’t vote for Donald J. Trump.
You seem pretty chill--you don’t hate him but you don’t love him either. Either way, don’t vote for Mr. Trump. He is not the right candidate for you. There are plenty more to choose from. Emphasis on plenty.
Mostly D’s: No, you shouldn’t vote for Donald J. Trump.
You don’t care about humans--let alone politics--do you? But, please care enough not to Make America Hate Again. Your individual vote does actually count, despite what people may say! And maybe take a few Poli Sci classes. Even just one will do the trick.
