In 2018, I fell in love for the first time ever. It completely changed my world view. AND then my heart was broken. Which also completely changed my worldview. I never realized how devastating it was to care THAT much about someone and have to let them go.

However, I miss getting excited over his name popping up on my phone, because I really love being in love with someone. The thing is, I miss BEING in love with someone and wanting to learn every single thing you can about them. I miss that emotional intimacy and being THERE for them and having someone who's THERE for you.

I'm always a SUCKER for the little things, which is probably why I love being in love. The little things were what made me fall in love: the little texts, checking in on me, being with me through panic attacks, buying my favorite flowers (sunflowers). The magic is truly in the little details, like the nights spent in together or the dainty forehead kisses. The little details are what gives me major butterflies.

I never thought I'd be the super romantic type. When I was younger, I used to swear I'd be alone forever because being independent is the only way to go. As an adult, I've realized that the beauty of relationships (at least, the kind of relationships I want to be in) is you can be independent and still love the person you're dating. I didn't realize there was such a balance in my first relationship, but you live and learn!

In my next relationship, I hope to maintain my independence a lot better than I did in my last relationship. I want to focus on myself as well as the new boo. After all, relationships are a way for us to become better people (and, you know, fall in love).