As you start to get older, you realize how often you are asked, "so do you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend?" which for me is a dreaded question I personally try to avoid at all costs. One time I got asked it during a Christmas party and I thought shoving an entire piece of very dry bread would do the trick. Unfortunately, even after my near death choking experience my very intrusive family member still asked, "so no boyfriend to spend Christmas with?"
Now I totally get it. Being 21, and never having a serious relationship is unheard of. To answer my family's burning questions: "Yes I have a social life that involves being around males... No I don't want a boyfriend.... Can you pass the potatoes? Thanks." Pretty sure this happens to more than just me, and honestly it doesn't have to come from your family. As a society, we are told the perfect man would appear right in front of us, and make all of our dreams come true. Although, I still hope that happens for me and you, it isn't very realistic.
The reason WHY it isn't realistic for me is because I personally am not willing to open up to pretty much anyone unless I feel they are worth it. I have a lot of things that made me who I am today, that I'm not willing to share unless i absolutely think you are the person I am going to marry. Many of those things I still carry with me and honestly do make it harder to love another person completely and I'm okay with that. Weirdly as it is, I think i will know the right moment I am willing to let someone break down the barrier I may have that hold my personal stories in.
With that being said, I hope you read this and maybe consider the same. You may find yourself in a relationship that you can't be 100%, or that you are in just to fill a void of loneliness or peer acceptance. You are the one who makes the decision whether you are able to love another person, and if you aren't there yet it's totally okay.
Now clearly i do not know the future, and do not know when or how you or I will meet the love of our lives. Even if the time never comes or it does, at least I can say I was able to give that person my entire self, maybe a little cracked in some places, but 100% authentic.
