Success is taught to be a form of growth in a person’s life, a growth in status. You are only successful if you keep going up the hierarchy. I believed that everyone on Facebook had reached success for being accepted to schools like Brown, Berkeley, and George Hopkins.

I believed that all my friends that are my age or slightly younger had reached their peak by marrying their partner of several years. That a few of my friends were being offered director positions after completing their undergraduate degree, and a few steps closer to becoming the CEO of the company they would work for. They had reached a high level of being after just having lived a little over two decades.

I for one was a failure compared to them. I had not prepared enough as they had. I hadn’t dreamed as much as they had. I was not as capable of maintaining a genuine loving relationship. Was there a point in even trying?

All of these thoughts fueled me with self-hatred and fear of attempting.

Everything the child I was believed in had simply vanished from my life. I was revolving my world around some false illusion. I left behind what I actually desired and the theories I had created as a child. I forgot about the simplicity and the imagination a child has. The only thing they desired was to be happy, and that is what I wanted.

And that's the question, is everyone happy with their form of success? What happens when it is taken away? Will that sense of happiness still exist?

I do not want that, I want the happiness that radiates on my skin and flows inside me.

I want to continue to dream limitlessly and learn the language I so desired because it sounds beautiful and it is fun to learn.

I want to go on walks and appreciate the trails and air I am walking through.

I want to soak up the moment as if I were exiting this Earth.

I want success to be pure happiness.