Sometimes I’m just so disappointed in myself. I know I’m better than the things I choose to deal with.
Since I’ve been young, I have always valued the friendships I possess. If I consider you my friend, I am loyal to that. Categorizing you as my friend means I would do just about anything for you. I have always done my best to make everyone happy just to avoid conflict. Though life has hardened my shell, the love and compassion that burns inside me will always be there.
Being this way means I often find myself going out of the way for my friends a large percentage of the time, but I don’t mind because they’re my friends. I find my original plans being changed because they would have rather done something else. I find myself dropping everything just to help them.
Sadly, I have learned that friendship doesn’t mean to others what it means to me at times.
I have been shown that some of my “friends” don’t care about me as much as I care about them. I am so often someone’s second or third choice. I am put to the side. This is literally so frustrating whenever you have always made that person your top priority.
Now, I am no way saying that I am the perfect friend. There have been times where I have been at fault. I have hurt my friends’ feelings when it wasn’t called for. I am human too. However, I want to learn from that and care/treat for my friends like they deserved to be cared for/treated.
More than once I have wanted to confront my friends. “Why do you treat me this way whenever all I want is the best for you?” “Why do you put me in bad situations?” “Why do you always play victim?”
But it’s not worth it. If there is one thing I’ve learned about friendship, it’s that playing the blame game gets you nowhere. “I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone.”
Don’t let your friends treat you like shit because they’re your “friends”. Stop letting them treat you badly because you don’t want to lose them.
Your true friends won’t ever fold on you. Your true friends won’t ever force you in situations that make you uncomfortable or do things that intentionally hurt you. Your true friends will be understanding and know that you have a reason behind the things you do.
Your true friends should support you and your goals. You do not have time to feel terrible, especially when you’re trying to work. I have so many things that I plan to accomplish, and honestly what I need sometimes is that boost from my friends. That little reminder of “you can do it” or “I believe in you” can really help you through the day.
I am good to those who are good to me. I am loyal to those who are loyal to me. If you treat me badly, talk to me with disrespect, or don’t appreciate the things I do for you, see your way out. When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them. Let them walk away rather than walk all over you.
To my true friends, I love you. Thank you for being someone I can count on when I feel like I have no one. Thank you for everything.
To those “friends,” I am no longer mad at you for anything you have done to me. You have showed me you. I needed that.
