Have you ever doubted that someone was really your friend? People select their friends based on many traits and characteristics. To an elementary school child, a friend is the person who plays with him or her at recess. Students in middle school form friendships with others who share similar interests. The high school years define who you are and your friends will be those people whom you trust and share common values with. We often develop friendships that last for only a short time, and we grieve when those friends are no longer a part of our lives. Sometimes we bond with people during a specific season such as emotional distress, change of environment or loss of a loved one.
True friends exhibit an acceptance of who you are, even when they do not agree with you. A best friend is the one who will stay up all night laughing or crying with you over a failed test, a broken heart or an argument with your parent. There may be times when your best friend can’t physically be there for you, but you know he or she is only a phone call away.
Genuine friendships include complete trust. This type of trust means that your friend will never reveal your secrets or laugh at your goals and dreams. In order to have an authentic friendship, you must put yourself out there and learn to be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to let someone share your burdens as well as your joys. Friendships have to be nurtured and require time and effort.
In addition to trust, true friends must demonstrate sincere concern for you. A friend who only calls when he or she wants to discuss his or her own problems isn’t really your friend. You are being used! A true friend will often conceal his or her issues just to listen to you. Friends who understand you will know when to give advice and when to let you make choices without any input.
The sadness of losing a friend creates a void in your world, and you may question your actions and wonder if you pushed your friend away. Some friends won’t be a part of your life for very long, but they will help you to grow and learn about who you really are. Occasionally, you will emotionally outgrow a friendship and have to end the relationship. This will be painful, and you will feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. Sometimes, friends will ignore the basic rules of trust and understanding, which forces you to end the friendship.
If you’re blessed to discover a friend who expresses compassion, honesty, empathy and trust, you need to protect that friendship. A true friend will never deliberately hurt you or mislead you. A friend who cares about you will support you and refrain from judging you. As you grow up, you will experience a range of friends. You may not maintain the friendships you developed as a young child. You may not realize what characteristics you are searching for in your friends until you are an adult. Friendships that are created during adulthood will have less drama than those of your childhood. These relationships will be more stable, won’t require constant attention and will focus on families and careers.
Thankfully, there is One who will never disappoint you and who will always be by your side. When you feel that the world has turned its back on you, remember that Jesus will be a friend who is closer than a brother. Your life may be full of chaos and your so-called friends don’t want to help you. On the other hand, your life may be perfect and your friends only want you around when they have a need. Regardless of your situation, having true friends in your life adds joy and peace. You should choose friends who know Jesus, because they will understand that we are not promised smooth sailing every day, but we are promised to have help when we struggle.
