One of the greatest things we can experience in this life is the joy of friendship. Friends are people whom we make a conscious effort to spend our time with, but despite what people might say, everyone is not really your friend. Sure, you may be friendly to most people you come in contact with or even live by the idea that you can be everyone’s best friend. However, if you stretch yourself too thin, the people who matter most to you will begin to suffer.

You see, friendships are meant to be life-giving and turn your worst days to some of the brightest. Real friendships do not drain you, leave you feeling exhausted, or cause a yucky feeling in your stomach when their names appear on your phone screen. In fact, quite the opposite should be true.

Friends who are beneficial in your life are those who can comfort you while you cry, yet have you laughing moments later. They are ones who you can have serious heart to heart talks with and still joke around and have a good time. They know what you love, know what you hate, and are people you couldn’t imagine living without.

These type of people will leave you encouraging notes just so you will smile. They will stay awake with you until 2 a.m. watching hilariously stupid movies and send you screenshots of your crush’s new haircut attached with a message saying “no really, it’s not that bad.”

They’ll go to Moe’s with you when they really just want Chipotle and sing at the top of their lungs with you in the car with the windows down and the music blaring. If you have friends like this, you know. You know they’re the real deal when they would drop anything and everything for you, just because of how much they care. Friends like that are ones you want to hold on to, go through life with, and rock in nursing home rocking chairs with.

Friendship is a two-way street and those who don’t understand that are some of the toughest people to actually be friends with. Friends are not there for you to just unload all of your problems on and complain to all the time. Of course, friends can help you through some of life’s hardest situations, but if you are always doing the venting, maybe you should practice lending your ear a little more often.

Cherish the friendships that you have which bring joy and laughter to your soul. Let those friends know how grateful you are for them and how much they mean in your life. Odds are, they feel the same way about you. When you find a lifelong friend, you know. When two people put in equal effort, a friendship will flourish. And to have a friend you must be a friend. So, try today to be a friend that you would like to have!