5 Reasons Why "Good Burger," Is the greatest movie of all time

5 Reasons Why "Good Burger," Is the greatest movie of all time

Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?

*Warning: Spoilers

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On July 25th, 1997, the world was blessed with a movie known as "Good Burger". Unfortunately, I didn't get the privilege of seeing it until the summer of 2011. It was a pretty horrible summer and I was at one of the lowest places I've ever been. I'd found comfort in this new series TeenNick launched called "The 90's Are All That", and when telling my therapist about that, she recommended I watch the movie "Good Burger".

I thought it looked like a really stupid movie, and I wasn't going to watch it, until one day I happened to be at a Blockbuster and saw the DVD sitting on a shelf. So I gave in, and I rented it. I watched it the next day, and friends: it was life-changing. Well, once I got past the first scene anyway. Not only did this seemingly stupid slapstick comedy kids movie give me a huge mental health boost, but in the hundreds of times I've watched it since, I've come to love it as so much more than my "get out of a bad place" movie. I've realized many different lessons that the movie teaches, and other little things that make it a must-see. So I'm here to discuss some of those today.

1. Ed.

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Ed is the absolute purest character in this whole movie, and possibly all of Nickelodeon history. Immediately after meeting Dexter, and getting off to a pretty rough start, he does everything he can to get Dexter a job, just because he needs one, despite Good Burger being in a tight financial situation. He learns how to communicate and get along with Spatch, who isolates himself from pretty much all the other employees. Ed tries to cheer up Dexter even when Dexter is angry with him and saying hurtful things. After Dexter secretly tricks Ed out of most of his paycheck for the secret sauce, Ed uses the remaining money to buy Dexter a meaningful gift because they're friends. He even helps Dexter get a date with Monique! He befriends everyone he talks to without judgment, which ends up being the reason they're able to escape from Demented Hills. And most of all, it's Ed's sauce recipe that saves Good Burger, and Ed's plan that saves them in the end. A character that is portrayed as stupid and unintelligent the whole movie ends up being the one who saves the day.

2. Representation.

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Not only does the show have a mostly-black main cast, but the premise of the movie is these two black teenagers saving a wholesome family business from an evil white man's corporation. Also, I've heard people suggest that Ed is a good representation of autism. This post explains how Ed takes things literally, has speaking patterns others might see as abnormal, poor social cues, and wears the same outfit 24/7. I would also add that he mentions not learning to talk until age six, something a couple students from my high school with autism also experienced. I would also say that Spatch has autism as well, and is much more nonverbal.

3. Monique.

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Monique is a strong woman who knows her worth and doesn't put up with Dexter's f-boy attitude. She looks out for Ed and is a true friend to him, and stands up for him (and herself) when she finds Dexter's contract. It's also never stated if she took Dexter back after the whole thing got resolved, which I think is good, because she's not obligated to forgive him just because everything worked out.

4. It's a little edgy.

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It's a kids' movie, but they're not afraid to throw in a little "edgy" line like "I'll see you in Hell!"

5. The asylum dance scene.

No explanation needed.


Whether or not you still think this is a stupid kids' movie after watching, I'll be happier knowing I got more people to watch this underrated masterpiece.

So thank you, "Good Burger," for all that you've done, and happy (late) birthday!

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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This Is What You Can Learn About Blame From An Inmate On Death Row

Go out, accept your responsibility, and make your lot better than you found it. And stop whining.

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While the number of murder series available on Netflix may seem mildly worrisome at first glance, such shows have captivated a range of audiences worldwide. I for one have also been a big proponent of crime/mystery/murder docuseries and docudramas, so I was immediately drawn in by Netflix's recent addition I AM A KILLER. Yes, it is in all caps.

The drama of an all-caps-title is rightfully given as it tells the stories of inmates on death row—both from the perspective of the inmate and others involved with their life and/or trial.

While many inmates interviewed attempt to dismiss the accusations afforded them with "It's a blur" or "You have to understand, it wasn't my idea," even more surprising is the degree of accountability many maintain.

The first episode opens on James Robertson, an inmate who after decades in prison purposefully murdered his cellmate (who he claims was a pedophile) in order to be put on death row. As this premeditated murder proved futile in his attempt for the death sentence, he took it to court where he eventually was given capital punishment.

After growing up in a broken home with drug abusing parents, Robertson found himself in and out of state penitentiaries from a very young age. After decades of prison it appeared he would never find himself free again.

Chilling as his interviews were, the viewer can't help but sympathize with Robertson to a certain extent as he appears calm, charismatic, and all-accepting.

Toward the end of the episode, Robertson muses on how he's come to accept his fate. The simple answer? Blame. He no longer blames anyone but himself:

"I was bitter when I was always blaming everybody else for... the way my life turned out and stuff. But I stopped doing that. And as a matter of principle, I gotta—I got to face the music.

I got to man up. I don't like hearing other people whine or talk about blaming the world and everything for all their problems. Life ain't always fair. People always saying, talking about how unfair the world is and stuff, ain't nobody ever said life was meant to be fair, ain't nobody up, up on a cloud wearing a robe and cane...saying 'I'm gonna make everything fair.' They, they ain't like that, man. You know? People just gotta accept that, man. You know? You're always trying to make the world...a better place, you know...ain't nothing perfect."

Although perhaps poorly worded, I found it pretty incredible to hear someone charged with capital murder, awaiting their turn to be executed, so calmly elucidate on blame. Regardless of how you feel about the death penalty, there's something refreshing about hearing a murderer admit his responsibility, rather than find a scapegoat for his past decisions.

Today it appears no one wants to assume onus for anything. There is a constant game of "he said," "she did," "I don't know," etc… There has become a lack of responsibility in our society that needs to be addressed, whether it be big or small.

I think back on the times I've attempted to place the blame elsewhere, and the times I've owned up to my actions. The latter has always left me feeling better about myself than the prior.

Rightfully accepting one's share in the blame has become an attribute so few adults, young and old, possess in today's society. This bleeds into other necessary aspects of life, such as the ability to apologize and sympathize. So many people complain about life being unfair, blaming everyone and everything but themselves. The fact of the matter is, whining won't change a damn thing, action will.

If someone who committed a heinous crime can accept the blame, why can't you accept your own? As Robertson points out, life isn't always fair, so who are you to curse the world? Go out, accept your responsibility, and make your lot better than you found it.

Pride and respect can be found in one's own acceptance, regardless the magnitude.

As for James Robertson, when asked "How do you want to be remembered?" he replied "Somebody that always speaks the truth."

It would appear we can all learn a little bit about responsibility from this man sentenced to death.

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