Six months ago you could have characterized me as the girl that lived by herself in a studio apartment, and even then, was never alone. Ever. The 100% extrovert result on all the quizzes make up a small part of how long I’ve acknowledged the social butterfly side of me. After three years of making Seattle my home, I embarked on a six month study abroad opportunity in France. And I struggled. For you fellow extroverts with the travel jitters, here are two aspects that I found challenging yet rejuvenating to face after much self reflection.
We try to do everything.
Imagine all of a sudden living in Europe and feeling compelled to see everything within reach. The bordering countries are sometimes hard to think about when all you can focus on are the cities within France. Then imagine transferring from the quarter system to a semester system, where all of a sudden you have a larger platter of classes to attend to. How in six months, did I expect to discover Grenoble, the surrounding cities, and the surrounding countries? The answer is quite obvious, I didn’t.
Think of an appetizer platter you’re sharing with a friend. You get a little bit of each thing, but you’ll never have it all, that’s the beauty in sharing. I’m still learning to accept the beauty in frequenting the same indian restaurant every week and to be the usual customer instead of trying to uncover a new place for the sake of exploring more. I decided to make Grenoble real familiar by frequenting the same places that welcomed me with so much warmth it was impossible to avoid. On the other hand, I treated the cities I traveled to like novels, traversing each page till my favorite quotes stuck out, those memories, still lingering in the back of my head. How did I work around loads of homework and studying? What are long train rides for?
We constantly crave company.
Making friends in a different language is not easy. That’s obvious. Even forming a bond with your host family is a challenge when you constantly feel nervous about the impression you’re leaving. I was constantly split between the fear of talking (which I had never dealt with), and the need to make new friends.
As dinners with my host mom commenced, I learned to ease up and let myself make mistakes. In fact, that transformation happened so quickly that it gave me a boost of confidence to make more friends. Whether at the University, or somewhere downtown, I was forming bonds with people who have so quickly fostered beautiful friendships with me. While all that was happening, I became engrossed in this need to make these bonds stronger than they could be expected to become in such a short span of time.
Making the comparison to relationships I had tended to in Seattle for three years were just impossible to recreate here. The mistake is evident now, but a few months ago it drove me insane, trying to recreate everything I had in a place that was meant to be valued for something completely different, unique in itself. In addition, this craving to maneuver myself around new, budding relationships let me stray from self care. To all my extrovert friends, remember to set a routine for yourself when in a new place. I’ve learned that as much as spontaneity feeds my energy, so does a routine.
