I woke up with a start from my nap. Frustration colored by thoughts as I began to fully wake up. There wasn’t much to do here besides sleep. Napping was the easiest way to kill time and it had become somewhat of a passion of mine. Every minute I spent awake left me only further confused and disoriented. I don’t know how I ended up here or why I am here, all I know is that this is the weirdest jail I have ever been in.

I have been here for almost a year now, 9-10 months according to my calculations, and I am just as clueless now as I was then. All I know is that a man and a woman put me in here. The man’s face is still very vivid in my memory; I don’t know if it was the drug I was given or if it was just my imagination, but his face looked oddly similar to mine.

Now, thankfully, I haven’t been to very many jails in my life but the one I'm in is easily the weirdest one I’ve been in. It's spherical for a start and small, very small. In fact, it feels as if it was made especially for me; anyone even a little taller or fatter than me has no chance of fitting in here. Why would anyone go through all the effort just to create a jail especially for me? None of it makes any sense. It’s like I'm missing a big jigsaw piece to a puzzle.

The room has no windows and no doors. How in God’s name did I even end up here if there's no door? There's no ventilation and no light. The idea that I traveled back in time to a jail in the Neolithic Age has crossed my mind numerous times. Hell, there isn’t even a bathroom for me to use, but every time I did answer nature’s call, it seemed to be absorbed by the surface of the floor. Oh, and if this doesn’t seem crazy enough to you, I'm stark naked. There wasn’t even a trace of my clothes anywhere. Oh, how I miss my Armani jacket!

I’ve had a lot of time to think here in this place, but the harder I rack my brains, the less sense it seems to make. The biggest question in my head is why I was even put in here. Sure, I haven’t lived a guilt free life, but I've done nothing to warrant this sort of punishment. You have no idea the number of times I’ve tried to escape from this god-forsaken place. I’ve pushed against the walls, kicked hard against them hoping they’ll buckle. No effect. They remain sturdy as ever. The only thing that is surprisingly good here is the food. I receive food multiple times a day and some of it tastes better than anything I’ve eaten before. Granted, the food arrives in a mushy state as if someone has already digested it, but what it lacks in appearance it more than makes up for in taste. There must be something special about this food because I feel like I become a little bit stronger each time I eat. I’ve definitely grown stronger than I was before I arrived, you should see the strength of some of my kicks now.

Now, just as I got ready to settle down for a small nap, it started to happen. The jail started to contract little by little and I felt a force pushing me. It was as if I was being vacuumed out. The walls around me were vibrating with great force and seemed to be closing in. All of a sudden, the floor below me cracked open and I started to slowly slide down into what seemed like a very long tunnel. The tunnel was long and red and I the only one traveling down it.

There was a blind panic and terror inside me and I started to scream wildly (howling would be the more appropriate term). Tears rushed down my cheeks as I cried out with gusto. Cried out to make this stop. The tunnel seemed endless and I tried shutting my eyes hoping to blank it all out. Didn’t work. I was in complete free fall but now I wasn’t moving with that much speed. After what seemed like an eternity, I began to see a faint light, something like an opening became visible to my tearful eyes. The end was surely near. I came crashing out of the opening like a suitcase on a luggage belt and finally skidded to a stop. Still howling, I looked up to see where I had landed and found a smiling face looking down on me. It was the man who had put me in the jail. Then, a gentle voice from behind me spoke out to him,

“Congrats Mr. Spencer, it’s a boy.”