When my dad got diagnosed with cancer, it was a tragedy that we never thought our family would be hit with. As much as we hate cancer, there is something to be thankful for: it brought us closer together. Our family was never the kind to sit around and tell one another how much we love each other. We shared those thoughts and feelings on birthdays and around holidays but that was pretty much it. We, like many other people and families, got caught up in life's busy schedule and materialist things. When he became sick and ultimately passed from it, it reminded many of us to care for one another as if we don't have a promise for tomorrow. Because we don't. None of us are promised tomorrow and yet we live as if we can tell our loved ones how we really feel when the next holiday rolls up.
Time is fragile. Tragedy taught me to forgive because life is too short. Those around me don't deserve to have judgments and grudges held against them. And I don't deserve to let hate take heavy space in my heart. It taught me that all these things that we lose sleep over and argue with people that we are going through life with are so small and not worth the pain. It really is a sad beauty. It took something sad or traumatic to occur in order to see the pure, organic beauty around us. I realized that the simple stuff are the main things that I run to after tragedy hits.
Humbleness. Tragedy makes you realize that the world is bigger than just your world. We sometimes get ahead of life and think we're in control and then something happens which reminds us that we actually aren't in control. I become extremely humble after I hit rock bottom because I realize that my riches, my car, all this money-bought things don't matter. What matters are the people by your side and the love around you. When we're on top of a mountain we tend to only see ourselves instead of recognizing that there is more to the world than just us.
Empathy. When tragedy occurs in our own lives - we personally go through it. When tragedy occurs for others, we empathetically go through it. We tend to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and it wakes us up to the gifts we currently have in our lives that we take advantage of. I wish that we did that without having tragedy strike. We cross people all day long and rarely put ourselves in their shoes to try to understand what they might be going through. Tragedy in others helps us recognize things and people in our lives that we forget to thank God for. We take so many things and people for granted and only remember them when they are taken away or almost taken away.
Kindness. I can't say this enough - Be kind. Tragedy taught me that we have no idea what kind of tragedy others are going through. The person in front of you at the pharmacy could be going through something, the person you just beeped at for taking too long to go when the light turned green, or the person you laughed at for not having their outfit so put together are all going through something you have no idea about. We get so wrapped up in judging and competing with one another - for what? We're all just humans - brothers and sisters - going through life's ups and downs and here we are - throwing rocks at one another instead of living together in love and peace.
Love. Tragedy taught me to love without condition. I don't know about you but when tragedy strikes - I will just love everyone and everything and not care about what they can give me in return. That is pure, genuine love and it's sad that it only comes out when something or someone is taken away. I learned that the least we can do is love one another without wanting something in return. It also taught me to express love whenever I can instead of waiting for an Instagram post for someone's birthday or Valentine's day. I learned that it can be just as simple as reaching out and checking in on someone or visiting them and hanging out lowkey.
Importance. I learned what matters and who matters every time I hit rock bottom. And let me tell you, it wasn't the people liking my posts on Facebook or popping into my DMs. It was the people who are visible in real life and not on the social media outlets. Does that mean I hate the people that don't stick by my side through the highs, lows, and even lower moments? Not at all. It just means that I have been woken up to prioritize how much time I put into people and things. I would spend so much thought on people who are inexpensive to my worth because I thought I needed them but when things crashed and I actually needed them, they were nowhere to be found. Tragedy taught me to start giving back to the people and things that are truly important to me.
Life-long lesson. The last thing I learned from tragedy: Take your lessons along with you to every new chapter of your life. Don't wait for another tragedy to occur for you to wake up. Choose to turn your life around now and stay consistent with the expectations. I feel like tragedy happens and we all rally together but as time passes, we tend to go back to our selfish lives. Now don't get me wrong - love yourself first and putting yourself first are two things I preach about. You can love yourself and also love others. But don't get so caught up in yourself that you don't smell the flowers or hug your loved one. Because it will kill you if another tragedy hits and you regret not giving someone your time and you no longer can.
We saw how tragedy brought us together after the helicopter accident that involved Kobe Bryant and several other people. People rallied together and sent love to complete strangers. It was tragically beautiful. There was a rain of sadness, angry, and heartbrokenness that occurred. And the rainbow of love, support, and kindness flowed so quickly and naturally across the world. That care and support should be shared on the daily to one another. Sadly, we only see that interaction when tragedy occurs. People put their differences aside and supported one another based solely on the fact that humans were concerned for other humans. If we take this lesson with us and make it a habit rather than a temporary way of life, our world will be a better place.
