Imagine yourself talking to your best friend about the relationship with their significant other. They tell you about all the fights (which you already know because it happens several days a week), that they weren't allowed to do certain things, or talk to certain people, and sometimes get physical? What is your first thought?
I've looked at my own past relationships that were similar, I look at my friends and see they either have been in a relationship like that or are in one like that currently. What makes us want to stay with people that makes us unhappy? Is it a feeling of hopeless love? Maybe we just all need someone and, at times, anyone. No matter the consequences. Now how do you get out of a relationship like that or confront your friend who is in that situation?
As someone who has been in the actual abusive or toxic relationship all I can do is give you a few ways to leave.
- Let your friends or family know that you need support. This kind of relationship can do some long term damage.
- Block them. Ignore them completely in every way possible; social media, their number, if you see them in person. Cold turkey works wonders.
- Make a plan. If you live with them and want out and you feel like you are stuck, make a plan. Even if you have to do a complete restart of your life, that's really only a year trying to get your feet back on the right path and being happy. That is nothing compared to the whole rest of your life being miserable.
Now, as a person who has also seen this from my friends and the things that helped me realize what was happening in my relationships I'll share a few things to do here as the friend.
- Just be there. Let them have some fun and make them feel safe when they are with you.
- You can tell them to leave said person a million times but they won't until they have taken enough crap. One day there will be an event or some sort of fight that will open their eyes and just like that, they will leave.
- Don't give up on your friend. It may seem like they aren't listening but they hear everything you are saying.
Remember to stay safe, stay happy and never forget there are people who love you. Know your self worth. Whatever you choose it's obviously up to you, but you don't want ten or more years to go by with someone who just doesn't care about you. The longer you wait, the longer you waste.
HaHa Tonka State Park-Allison Appleton
