I think we have all seen or heard about the infamous Gillette commercial that caused a sense of uncertainty from many people in our society. This is where we have to think "What are we actually doing wrong?" and "Why is it that young boys and grown men are scared of their own feelings?"
Toxic Masculinity is where men and young boys are taught that they have to portray themselves a certain way for society to accept them fully. Men have to be tough all the time, strong and can't let their emotions overcome them.
No one in our society wants to truly admit that in our past and present we are teaching men and boys that they should not have feelings. Men are told as they see their parents getting sick and old that they have to suck it up and keep going. You would never tell a woman to suck it up if they were losing a loved one. Why tell a man that?
Boys are told they need to avoid getting upset if they are getting bullied and need to just get tougher. Say a young girl came home from field day at her elementary school and told her parents she got bullied all day and no one would play with her. An automatic reaction would be to comfort her and send her with goodie bags for her classmates. A boy would get told that maybe you need to get tougher or do more to be like those boys in your class.
The crazy thing about Toxic Masculinity is that so many people are absolutely oblivious to the fact it is very much prevalent in our society. Toxic Masculinity is what makes our men scared to express their feelings for a significant other, they are fearful of coming out as "whipped" or "acting like a female".
Just because you are a man and you cry does not in any way mean you are weak. It just simply means that you are human.
In my life, I can count how many times I have seen my father cry on one hand. I bet most of you could too, think about it. When boys are young, they are most likely to cry if they get hurt or their feelings get hurt. As they get older, they are less likely to show any emotion besides anger. My Gender Studies professor, Mrs. Jones, put it in the best words "Men are taught that they have to live in a small box." Meaning as our society becomes even more acceptable to Toxic Masculinity a man has even less wiggle room in the aspect of their feelings.
Of course, I am not speaking for every boy or every parent for that matter. For the majority though, yes, you are teaching your son it is not okay to have feelings and you aren't even realizing it. Not many people do realize that we as an American society was built on the lack of emotion a man has in their life.
A woman is usually a man's weakness when it comes to emotion but even then, if we as women see a man cry, we get skeptical. I will admit seeing a man cry is shocking to me because I am not used to men doing basic human things, like crying.
Toxic Masculinity is allowing a man and little boy to get frustrated more easily and less likely to let someone in. As a man, there is nothing wrong with being prideful in yourself but there is also nothing wrong with letting your emotions show. As a parent there is nothing wrong with teaching your son to be acceptable to the fact life comes with obstacles. As a parent though make sure that your son can express his feelings and cry when he needs to.
As women, we have to stop being shocked if we see a man cry for it is no different if we cry.
As a society, we have to stop letting Toxic Masculinity close our men into the tiniest box possible.
