Ladies, listen up. We've got a problem.

Well, I guess it's not fair to just say ladies, but I say ladies because this is a problem I've noticed among me and my girlfriends, but it's absolutely something guys can experience, too.

The other day I was texting one of my friends and noticed something. I was texting her that I was on my way to her house and this is the exact text I sent her.

"Leaving now. I look like garbage. I'm wearing Band-Aids as a bra."

While a hilarious text message to send to someone, this is also a HUGE problem.

I noticed that I unnecessarily, and in almost every conversation I have, comment on my appearance or my being in a negative way. If you ask any of my friends (or are one of my friends reading this), chances are you'll hear me say "I'm a garbage human" or "I look like a garbage rat" -- usually referencing something garbage-related. But it really never hit me how much of a problem this is to speak so negatively of myself to anyone and everyone I meet.

I realized why I do it, though. I do it because I've developed it as a defense mechanism, similar idea to taking EmergenC before you get on a plane. It's a preventative defense for me that tries to anticipate any negative thing someone else could say and say it before they can. If I'm feeling less than 100 percent about my appearance, have been laying around the house in sweatpants for a few days, or have no makeup on or whatever else makes me feel my best, I make sure one of the first things I say is, "Please excuse me, I look like a homeless garbage creature." I think this is my idea of humor? I think?

Yes, like I said, it might sound funny and your friends might laugh, but the bottom line is you're unnecessarily painting yourself to everyone around you in a negative light. I easily could have just said, "Leaving now, see you soon!", but instead, I made sure I addressed the elephant in the room, which was visible lack of a bra or the assumed visible lack of personal hygiene. It comes from a lack of confidence growing up, sometime around when my mom gave me goofy shoes to wear to school and someone made fun of me for them. They had these weird buckles on them, which made me look like a leprechaun and let me tell you, that was a field day for fifth graders.

Since then I've tried to beat everyone to the punch. I always like to eliminate my risk or minimize it as much as possible, and this was my way of doing that. I feel safer and a little less anxious going into a social situation if I try to anticipate any remark before it's made, but I've realized that's impossible. It's impossible to anticipate what someone is going to say. I've learned that even if you've come up with a million things they could possibly say, they'll come up with a million and one that you didn't think of. At first, this is really scary, but then it's liberating. It liberated me from burdening myself with (some of) these anxious thoughts and let me be comfortable with who I am, and realize that if the people I surround myself with are worth keeping around, they're going to love whoever or whatever I am that day.

If you take only one thing away, I ask that it be this: love yourself. Love yourself for your flaws and your bad days. Love yourself even when you don't think you should or when you don't think you deserve it. You're so much more than that stain on your sweatpants or your smeared makeup or whatever else is holding you back from feeling your best. And check back here for an explanation on that band-aid bra...