When I was young, I thought it was silly to wear all black. The world was filled with color, and all I wanted was to figure out a way to wear them all at once, without wearing tie-dye. My mother wore black basically every day. I never understood it as a child. Yet, now I do.
Don't get me wrong, I still love color. I just hate matching things. I don't have time to stare at my closet, trying to find something that complements something else. Black pants, a t-shirt (probably black), and some boots. Boom, done, out of the house. It makes everything easier. But that's just the beginning of why I love wearing black, every day.
1. Like I said, I can get dressed in under 10 minutes. Which means I have more time to procrastinate doing everything else. I can sleep longer. I can pretend I have no responsibilities longer. It's great; really, it is.
2. I have a black cat. His fur is really long, but with my black clothes, you can barely tell that his fur is literally all over me. Mostly because I try to force affection on him every time I go home, but still, to a stranger, I have no cat fur on me.
3. It lets me pretend that I am, in fact, a ninja. I've always had a thing for wanting to be cooler than I actually am, so if I can look even a little like a ninja, I feel so much better about life. It also makes people think you're weird or something, so they don't talk to me.
4. I have the illusion of being edgy. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm actually a total goofball who says the stupidest things and is often the punchline to my own jokes. Yet, wearing black makes it look like I am the cool, edgy chick who doesn't care about things, and is too busy trying to get her band signed or something.
5. I'm always ready to have a covert mission, which is something I thought would actually happen to me as a child. I'm still waiting to be accepted into a spy academy, where I can learn all the tricks of the trade.
6. You can't see most stains. I say most, because I work with smoothies and fro-yo. For some reason, smoothie will show up on black, but you know what doesn't? Coffee. And you know what is almost always in my hand? Coffee. Try that with a white shirt some time (it doesn't go well).
7. Even if it isn't, people think it's slimming. Which I guess means I'm always slim? Or when I finally wear color, people will just be like, "What happened?". Who knows? who cares? Not me.
8. All black looks sleek even when you're a mess. If I roll out of the house in head-to-toe black. I look like I made an outfit. It looks as if I woke up and actually tried. I didn't. The shirt under my jacket is probably what I slept in. You don't know me. I look sleek. Black is awesome.
9. Any kind of accessory makes your outfit pop. Red scarf? Extra red. Blue earrings? Extra blue. It's awesome. Plus, black outfits can be worn more than once with different shoes and accessories, and suddenly it's a whole new outfit. That kind of magic is just brilliant.
10. I'm lazy. Honestly, it's so much easier to just walk into a store, buy everything black, and leave. Like, you don't have to think very hard. It's just black. It's gonna match everything you already own. Because your black pants, black shirts, black dresses, black shoes, are all just gonna work.
So, the next time you see someone wearing all black, and have the urge to say they should wear color, just know that they probably do not care, what so ever, about your opinion on their color choices.
