For those of you who don’t live under a rock without any Wi-Fi connection, you’ve probably heard of – hell, even binge-watched, "Orange Is the New Black" on Netflix. For the two of you who don’t know – maybe you watched "Wentworth," instead? – "Orange Is the New Black," or, OITNB, follows Piper Chapman, who is in prison for drug trafficking and money laundering.
There she runs into her ex-lover, Alex Vause, and a plethora of other women from different backgrounds, ethnicities, and cultures who, like her, are just trying to get by. It’s dramatic, heartbreaking, and sometimes it’s all too real. The icing on the cake? OITNB has some of the most quotable lines ever – from humor, sadness, to quotes that’ll make you consider your life choices.
Here are my top ten favorite OITNB quotes.
1. “The second you’re perceived as weak, you already are.” – ‘Red’ Reznikov
Red is the head of the kitchen, and her advice is always on point.
2. “It’s just chilling, you know? Kickin’ it with somebody, talking, making mad stupid jokes. And like, not ever wanting to go to sleep ‘cuz then you might be without ‘em for a moment and you don’t want that.” – Poussey Washington
Poussey and Soso = Relationship Goals
3. “Man, do you know what it means when there ain’t nobody up there to punish the evildoers? It means there ain’t nobody giving out prizes for the good ones neither; ‘cuz there ain’t no judge. There ain’t no justice. We just crawl around this earth like ants…and then we die.” – ‘Pennsatucky’ Doggett
Realizing the truth that you know many not be the only truth…
4. “It’s my fantasy. And I can have a milkshake with a side of Cate Blanchett… I want someone to massage my head, and she looks like she’d have really cool fingers.” – Alex Vause
See, the show isn’t only about sex…
5. “Hey, you ever think about Jay-Z and Beyoncé f***ing? ‘Cause I do.” – Taystee
Then again…
6. “Oh my God, Larry. By the time I get out, there’ll have been, like, three new generations of iPhones.” – Piper Chapman
The struggle is real, and I’ve never even been to prison!
7. “O’Neil, scatter the nuns!” – Joe Caputo
Funniest one-liner ever. That is all.
8. “Are you at all aware that you just told an inmate in prison to become a correctional officer?” – ‘Nicky’ Nichols
Sometimes the inmates are smarter than their guards. This is one of those times.
9. “I had grand plans. Now I can’t even get past the swirling darkness in my brain long enough to land on anything.” – Alex Vause
As a college student, this quote is 100 percent relevant.
10. “I have been here for less than two weeks. I’ve been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift.” – Piper Chapman
*Insert snake emoji here*
