I like to think of myself as someone who appreciates the finer things in life. I attempt to fill my time with indulgences of quality like esteemed books, classic movies, and healthy foods. There are plenty exceptions to these stately pleasures, though, and here are just a few of them.
1. "Hot Rod"
This is quite possibly the stupidest movie ever created. From its ridiculous plot to its countless jump cuts, this movie is an absolute disaster. Even still, I know every line by heart and laugh until my side hurts each time I watch it.
2. McDonald's Iced Coffee
There are two things you should know about me. 1) I am a caffeine addict. 2) I am a broke college student. So yes, I’ll take a large hazelnut iced coffee and a small step toward financial freedom, thank you.
3. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler
Cheesy, emotional, and overly dramatic -- It’s everything I usually hate about sappy 80s songs. With that being said, I belt each note of this song in the middle of every road trip and shower I take.
4. The Twilight Saga
I am an English major. I can give you a million reasons why these books are a complete insult to literature… but my inner 7th grader can give you a passionate rant about how Carlisle is kind of the Henry Clay of the fictional world with all of his compromises and how awesome Rosalie is for dramatically murdering her attackers while wearing her wedding dress. LIKE, COME ON.
5. "Catfish: The TV Show"
I honestly don’t have an explanation for this one. It’s repetitive. It’s pointless. It’s downright bad. That doesn’t change the fact it’s my most watched show on Hulu.
6. Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts
They don’t taste like fudge, and they really don’t even taste like chocolate. However, the gritty, brown, jam-like substance within these diabetes-catalyzing pastries brings me more joy than I know how to express.
7. "Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace"
“The prequel trilogy is so bad.” Okay, yes, but what about Darth Maul being the most intimidating Sith ever and that intense pod-racing scene that almost makes you forget how emotionally constipated Anakin Skywalker is? It has its good moments, and I love it for those moments.
8. Peanut Butter
Peanut butter is good for you in moderation. The problem is, moderation is thrown to the wayside the second I open a jar of Jif. I eat this glorious sandwich spread more often on a spoon than on bread. Judge me.
9. Slasher Flicks
They amplify human stupidity and are truly a testament to natural selection (looking at you, idiots who run upstairs instead of out the front door when being chased by a man with a knife). Slashers are predictable, illogical, and cheap… but still gratifying.
10. Netflix Documentaries
I’m not talking about the educational documentaries regarding the American Civil War or obesity in America -- I’m talking about the obscure documentaries concerning the possible existence of mermaids or irrational conspiracy theories about Joan of Arc. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go enlighten myself on the life of a mail-order bride.
