Diet Racism is the brand of racial discrimination that is most often employed by white suburban mothers, conservative churchgoers, and frankly by stupid white people in general. But what is Diet Racism? Well, its the social phenomenon that occurs when a person clearly wants to say something racist, but doesn’t want to be perceived as such. This leads to the sugarcoating of a phrase that reinforces a stereotype about a racial minority. This is usually a white person to black person transaction. Basically, Diet Racism is privileged white people just not getting it. Many quotable phrases have been born of this phenomenon, my favorite five of which have been listed below.

BONUS: Anything that follows, “I’m not racist, but…”

This is a bonus just because of how general it is. This preamble to any sentence is all but an assurance that whatever is about to be said will be offensive. Just a rule of thumb, if you have to throw a disclaimer that you’re not racist into your speech, then you probably just don’t know that you’re racist, because whatever you’re about to say is completely insensitive. Perfect example, “I’m not racist, but black people tend to smell pretty bad.” No, you are racist. What you just said, even if statistically true, is racist.

5. “Can I touch your hair?”

White people are notorious for loving the feeling of a black person’s hair. Yes, black people tend to have more dense, curlier hair than white people. However, that gives you no right to pet them like some kind of weird animal. All you’re really saying when you ask this is, “I see our differences, but I just really want to draw attention to them and use them as an excuse to be kind of creepy.”

4. “No, where are you REALLY from?”

Detroit. That Asian man is from Detroit. He was born there, raised there, he has the same culture as the people there. He is from Detroit. You mean to ask about nationality, or perhaps where his ancestors are from. That could be Japan, China, Korea, Vietnam, Laos, and a whole slew of other countries. But where is HE from? Detroit. When people ask this, it basically says, “You are synonymous with your heritage and can be nothing else in my mind.”

3. “Why isn’t there a White Entertainment Television?”

Every channel is White Entertainment Television. BET devotes its programming to black talent because they need that. Black people, believe it or not, are not fairly represented in the media. When you turn on a sitcom on Lifetime, who do you see? You see a happy white family. Maybe they have an eccentric black neighbor. But there’s no black culture or pride. BET is a good thing, WET would just be unnecessary. The world does not revolve around you.

2. “The blacks…”

Never, EVER refer to the black community as a whole as, “the blacks.” It may not seem like it, but it is offensive. You are cutting out the humanizing portion of, “the black PEOPLE.” It implies that you do not see black people as people, but instead as a separate group. Let me just repeat what I said earlier, for good measure: Never refer to black people as a collective as, “the blacks.” It’s a cool name for a band, but other than that, the phrase cannot be used.

1. “Black people are racist too.”

Yes, black people can say offensive things to or about white people sometimes. No, it is not okay. But do not try to compare your “struggle” to their real one. There are prejudices about white people. But does that affect us? Absolutely not. Why? Because white people are the ones in power. White people, despite the stereotypes against them, are still getting hired, promoted, swiped right on Tinder, and not getting lynched(yes, that still happens) because of the fact that fellow white people are the ones with the power to discriminate. Black people cannot be systemically racist. But they have dealt with systemic racism and lack of societal power for hundreds of years. DO NOT compare your petty annoyance to their lifelong hardships.