While being a LGBTQA+ person has become increasingly acceptable throughout the years, coming out of the closet is one of the most anxiety-wrenching things a LBGTQA+ person has to go through. So here are my top five tips for coming out!
Side note: these are suggestions that I believe are most useful to people based off my personal coming out story, everyone’s situation is different.
1. Decide that you’re ready.
This is probably the most obvious advice you can give someone, but it’s the first step in revealing your true self to the world. Accepting and loving yourself is the strongest thing you can do in this community. Once you’ve decided that it is time for you to break down the closet door you have to be prepared for the best and the worst outcomes. In other words, once you’ve embraced who you are, buckle up. You’re in for a wild ride, my friend.
2. Pick the person.
Once you’ve accepted the fact that you’re on the LGBTQA+ spectrum, you’re going to have to go down a mental list of all of your family and friends that you want to come out to. My advice would be to pick the person that you are closest to. Personally for me, I chose my mother, because she’s always been my best friend and one of the most important people in my life. This person is usually the one that will only love you and accept you for you. And they also tend to serve as moral support when coming out to other family members or friends.
3. Put yourself in a safe environment.
A gloomy possibility of coming out is that the person that you’re coming out to does not respond in the most positive way. In order to insure your safety during the moment you come out to them, I would recommend coming out to them in a place where you can be honest but also will not be in imminent danger. I came out to my grandmother while she and I were driving back from dinner. You could also have the coming out conversation over dinner at a restaurant or walk around a park or a mall. Also, always make sure you have a place to go to if things do go south; it could be a friend’s house, an accepting family member’s house, or even just your bedroom.
4. Think of what you're going to say before you say it.
Now, with my coming out experience to my mother, I was sort-of outed (that’s another story for a different day) so I didn’t quite get to perform the dramatic coming out monologue I had planned in my head. You don’t have to have a dramatic monologue planned (I had props and everything, too. It was going to be an Oscar-worthy performance). but just having a rough outline of what you want to say is usually the best way to approach the conversation instead of just winging it.
5. Give them time.
Once you have finally mustered up the courage to deliver your emotional coming out monologue, you should give the person you’re coming out to time to react and adjust. Coming out is a big deal and most of the time it takes some getting used to for the person you’re coming out to adjust to you being who you are (this is not to say that you aren’t the same person you were before you came out, but things do tend to change). Time is the greatest gift you can give someone when you come out to them because it gives them a chance to process this “change” and understand that nothing about you really has changed except for who you go to bed with. In my opinion (and in my experience), time ultimately leads to acceptance.
As I stated before, these are simply suggestions. In no way do I believe that these tips should be followed word for word because I understand that everyone’s situation is different. But I do believe that these tips are super helpful to those who wish to burst out through the closet door and live as freely as they want.
