Before just a few weeks ago, I had never seen one of my closest friends in person nor had I ever heard her voice. Before meeting in a coffee shop in Seattle, Washington’s Capitol Hill, the tone of my pen pal’s voice existed only in her stark, loose handwriting accompanied by her zines, illustrations, handmade cards, and stickers. About two years ago, on my first trip to Seattle, I wandered inside the Elliott Bay Book Company and came out with a handful of zines by local artists. This was my first experience with zines in person and I was thrilled that such a large bookstore like Elliott Bay would sell items created by local artists. Later that year, bored and roaming around on Etsy during winter break, I came upon one of the zines that I bought at Elliott Bay. At the same time I was experiencing the worst friend breakup of my life with the closest friend I had ever had up until that point; a person who had been a beacon of hope for me, who was proof that someone, somewhere, could comprehend my life (and that feeling having been further intensified by the confining, angsty, magnifying-lens-like nature of teenagedom). Searching for a way to connect with another person who could possibly understand my life, I messaged the artist of this zine a note, ending with the words “thank you for being.” A few messages later, I asked if we could pen pal and after a year and a half we finally met.

The experience of pen paling has been so important in my life, especially coming into it at a time when I needed a reminder of human connection, that I want to share the top 5 reasons why I love my pen pal so much and how she’s helped me grow. Take this as both an open letter to my marvelous pen pal and, more generally, reasons why having a pen pal or pals can be one of the best things you’ll ever do.

5. We freak out over our common interests together.

When going through my best-friend breakup, I didn’t believe that I could ever have as intense discussions about art with anyone else aside from my now-ex-best friend. Of course, I was wrong and my pen pal was the first to show me that. Not only did we talk about artists we both loved, namely Patti Smith, but she also shared with me her friends’ art, opening my eyes to other really inspiring artists from which I was only two degrees of separation away!

Not only can pen pals expand your view of the world mentally, but they can also expand your physical world, allowing you to become aware of aspects of life on which you may be missing out. The things you’ll both have in common will bud into new and exciting conversation, giving you some much needed new Googling material.

4. She’s become a sort of mentor for me.

I was incredibly lucky to have found my pen pal; not only is my pen pal a woman whose work I love and who truly inspires me, but she also has more experience than I do in making and selling her artwork. Watching the evolution of both of our creative processes keeps me enthusiastic about my own work and interested in what others are creating around me. Corresponding with someone who shares your interests and your field of work can open you up to new ideas and make you motivated to undergo your next projects.

3. Your pen pal can expand the way you view the world.

Although I have traveled fairly extensively, my pen pal has opened my mind to the day-to-day realities in her unique location. Before visiting Seattle, my only ideas of the city were derived from contemporary art magazines and two close family friends, a rad AF lesbian couple. I knew the city was a haven for the coffee obsessed and the artistically inclined. After writing with my pen pal, I came to know her area of the city; an area know for its queer and arty population, but one that is also becoming rapidly gentrified. I came to understand the worries, annoyance, and cultural harm that Amazon brought when it relocated to Seattle.

Talking with my pen pal in this way about our own unique living situations allowed me to understand areas of the world other than my own, while giving my own area of the world new meaning.

2. I’ve become more talkative and confident.

Writing is so important to me because it allows people to recognize the power of word. It enables people to find their voices while serving as a source of empowerment. An avid writer before having a pen pal, I continued writing poetry and journaling in addition to writing correspondence. However, I never shared my writing with anyone aside from the best friend with whom I had split. Having a pen pal aided me in the realization that people who don’t even really know me might actually care what I have to say. After a few months of writing to my pen pal, I began performing spoken word poetry and allowing others to read my writing (cough, cough…like right now). I realized that I can be vulnerable in front of others and that others may also resonate with my sentiments. This has been the craziest step in my journey of having a pen pal and directly correlates to the #1 reason why I love my pen pal.

1. Writing to my pen pal allows me to feel connected and appreciated.

Every list item I’ve discussed prior to this leads to a feeling of connection and appreciated in the giant web of humanity. Having a pen pal reminds you of the scope of the world and how people’s individual actions can have a huge impact.

Get to know my pen pal and support her creative endeavors on her Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/pillowfightdesigns