Hey Kids! Are you sick of Hollywood's constant milking of the nostalgia cash cow? Do you all collectively groan when Pixar announces another sequel of a movie that was made over a decade ago? Are you befuddled when studios make movies based on properties that their intended demographic is clearly too young to ever have heard of, such as "Jem and the Holograms," "Alvin and the Chipmunks," and "The Smurfs?" Well neither am I! In fact, I have some fantastic ideas for Hollywood's next ride on the nostalgic gravy train. But since they've contam...I mean reimagined so many of our precious childhood characters, I know that now, they're really going to have scrape the bottom of the bar...I mean, search really really really hard for those diamonds in the rough. Well, that's where I come in! Here are the top 5 children's shows that Hollywood should remake:

1) "Liberty's Kids"

This was the show that all the history dorks (*cough cough....me...cough cough*) tuned into every day. It depicted the continuing adventures of three teenagers, witnessing the birth of the nation firsthand. The great thing about this is, the original show already had an all-star cast, so whoever is directing wouldn't have to search very hard. I mean, haven't we always wanted to see Billy Crystal as John Adams, Liam Neeson as John Paul Jones, or Ben Stiller as Thomas Jefferson? Two words people: Oscar Bait.

Now the question of directing. I think this may be controversial, but I think we can only have one man directing this masterwork of American cinema: Oliver Stone

Think about it, what's the one thing that would make liberty kids better? A giant contrived, conspiracy, that's what! Maybe John Paul Jones is secretly a Jedi who is raising John Qunicy Adams in the way of the force. Perhaps Baron Von Steuben is a steampunk terminator sent by Bismark to upset the balance of power in Europe a century before the unification of Germany!

Or...maybe at the end of the day it was all LBJ's fault...who knows.

2) "Johnny Bravo"

BABAY! The hit Cartoon Network show comes back on the silver screen, staring none other than that inimitable ladies' man, Christopher Walken! Alright, the hair and makeup department may have to work a little overtime, but I can hardly imagine anyone else playing the iconic womanizer and momma's boy. As far as the plot is concerned, I think Johnny Bravo is the perfect set up for a horror movie. A vampire horror movie that is. Just think of the delicious irony of this premise. The man who will take vampires back from their accursed place in our modern culture as prissy, sanitized, prettyboys will be none other than our childhood's favorite prissy sanitized prettyboy. As a vampire infestation plagues Johnny's neighborhood, he and Little Suzy have to brave the creatures of the night to save the suburbs.

Actually, now that I think about it, this would also work pretty well as a musical. The whole 1950's feel of the show would really lend to a unique style. Yeah...like a mix between Grease and 'Salem's Lot.

Just add Danny Elfman as the composer, and we could be in for a real treat!

3) "Jimmy Neutron"

Ever wanted to see Joss Whedon finish Firefly? Never fear, dear readers! I have the perfect solution! It's been ten years since we last left Jimmy Neutron and friends. Embarking on a brave interstellar expedition, the engine breaks down and they get stuck in the middle of space. With so many characters that are conducive to the Space Western setting, such as the space bandits and that alien garbage collector guy, and Whedon's natural talent for snappy dialogue, sci-fi action, and spunky female characters, a Joss Whedon/Jimmy Neutron project would be out of this world (pun intended)! Now, I'm still not sure who I'd cast, though Jonah Hill would make a pretty good Carl...

4) "Ed, Edd, n Eddy"

Things haven't been good for the cul-de-sac. When the housing bubble burst, the community fell on hard times. Running an illicit jaw-breaker trade in the heart of his basement, Ed (played by Steve Buscemi) rules the criminal underground with an iron fist. But when his accountant, Edd (played by Robert DeNiro), goes missing, Ed and his muscle, Eddy (played by Vincent D'Onorfrio) instigate a bloody gang war to find him. While at first the suspicion is immediately placed on the Kanker sisters, a rival gang with alleged connections to the Russian Mob, the true criminal mastermind is revealed to be Plank, who is avenging the death of his former boss, Johnny (played by Jesse Eisenberg).

As far as the direction is concerned, I'm torn. Martin Scorsese could really bring some great character studies, but Trantino could really bring the film to life with his trademark style. I can leave that up to the Hollywood Execs.

5) "Zoboomafoo"

Alright guys, picture this, everyone's favorite cuddly lemur and his two owners (played by Chris Pratt and Bruce Willis), combined with the high paced survival action of Jurassic World. Actually, I think this would work as a found footage film, kind of like "Cloverfield" or "Troll Hunters." And the reason why "Zoboomafoo" can talk is that he was the subject of a scientific experiment gone wrong. In fact, he also has cybernetic enhancements, so he has laser vision and a plasma cannon on his back. What does this terrific triumvirate do? Hunt zombie Kimono dragons on the streets of New York of course.

Alright, I admit, I'm running out of ideas...

Well, those are my pitches. I'll admit I'm no Kubrick, but I think if Hollywood took advantage of these, we could change the face of world cinema in no time.

Here's to more ruin...I mean...reinventing...of our childhood memories.