These are the people in charge of your purchases. Make them angry and it can become an expensive day for you.

1. People can and will be a**holes.

It doesn’t matter to them that their problem was not your fault or that you have no clue what they are talking about. They will start yelling at the only person they can get in contact with, which will usually be you. You can try and explain to them that you seriously cannot help them, but that will just get you yelled at more. I suggest telling them you’ll fix it, (you don’t actually have to fix it, you just want to get them to leave) and then hoping you never see them again.

2. That whole math is never used in real life thing is a lie.

I mean you don’t need to know the Pythagorean theorem, but a little addition and subtraction never hurt anyone. When you're ringing up a customer and you type in the total or change incorrectly it’s all up to you to do the math and figure out what change to give. So what you do is you make sure to look like you know exactly what you’re doing (the customer can smell fear) and you pretend you’re taking a long time to give the change back. (Really you’re trying and failing to do the math in your head so you end up giving them like two dollars short of what you’re supposed to.) As long as they don’t come back and complain, who cares?

3. The customer is not always right; the customer is an idiot.

I mean, don’t tell them that, but come on! Some of these people are morons. I’m sorry I can’t return your item for you when you’ve completely torn it to shreds. Or when I can’t find a price tag on something so it's apparently “free.” That joke has been said to me 20 times in the last hour, you are not a comical genius. I tend to just treat everyone as if they have only had up to a 5th grade level education. Anything higher and you might scare them away.

4. There is no back.

So many times I have told people I’d check the back for their item when I will just walk behind a door you’re not allowed through and sit there for a few minutes on my phone. Then I’ll come back and tell you we don’t have it so you’ll go away. Customers will seriously ask me to check the back, like they expect me to magically find this item behind there when it’s literally a place most employees go to hide from customers. They send you on a break when they ask that. Seriously all I want is for you to leave. From the moment I clock into work to the moment I leave for closing, I am praying everyone in the store will just walk out.

5. Be nice to cashiers.

This one just may be because I feel for you when I see someone yelling at you or a huge line you have to get rid of, but seriously, be nice to them, they’re people too. They are also the people that basically control how much you pay for your items. If you’re being nice to them and your total ends up being $9.05 and you don’t have that $0.05, odds are they will. If you’re a complete d*ckhead and then you don’t have that $0.05, well you better find it or else you can’t get your item. Why would we help you if you don’t help us? Just treat cashiers how you would want to be treated, or at least as decent human beings because we also have your credit card in our hands for a few minutes so your $20 purchase just may turn into $200 if you aren’t careful.