Everyone has their share of awkward moments, and I definitely have more than enough of them. Here's some of my top picks- they're not especially glamorous, but hey, they make good stories! And yep, they are all true. Enjoy!
1. The Story Behind My Nickname
I attended a drawing/illustration workshop when I was little and the artist leading the whole thing would ask for art submissions to be included in this art book he was compiling. I drew a lovely picture of pigs that he liked, but when I turned it in I wrote my name as “Grac Herbertz”. Apparently I forgot how to spell my own name? Thankfully, they corrected it, but now my friends call me “Grac”. Lovingly, of course.
2. Dog Collar
So to give some context to the situation I wasn’t that old. Maybe 10? Maybe 12? Annnnyway I was hanging out at my friends house and they have a dog. And this dog has one of those electric dog collars. The kind that shocks dogs into submission. Okay. Well. I was a curious child. And I thought, what the hey, I wanna try this thing.There really wasn’t much thought process behind it, which is the case with most stupid things I do. So. I put it on. I walked across the boundary line, and I’m not sure what I was expecting...but a ginormous volt of electricity flowed through my neck.
I couldn’t move for a while. That’s it. Don’t do this at home kids.
3. Lake Boy
If this situation is familiar to you at all, please contact me. This was also when I was younger. As in MUCH younger. My family stays at this cabin every summer and because it’s a cabin, most of our entertainment comes by way of swimming. So one day I happened to be swimming around by myself when a boy about my age swimming in the near vicinity.
I swam over to him until I was pretty close, like an unacceptable speaking distance. Then as I was still doggy paddling, I kissed him. Not on the cheek. On the LIPS. I definitely remember he was visibly disgusted and I was extremely pleased with myself. Then I chose to swim away.
4. Ode to a Hot Iron
I saw an iron. I thought it was hot. I touched it. I was right. I burned myself.
5. Failing at Video Games
Okay, here are several examples from both Uncharted and The Last Of Us. Also, in my defense, I am new when it comes to video gaming, so am I still to blame? Answer: Yes.
Uncharted: Climbing up ladders. I can’t do it. Instead of climbing up the ladder I jump around in front of it. It’s especially bad when the character Nathan Drake does all this awesome parkour stuff and then cannot for the life of him manage to climb up a ladder.
Felt like this:
What I actually was like in the game:
When I got run over by a truck. My friend, said “Quick! Run away from the truck!” I screamed and then proceeded to run directly into the truck. Needless to say, I died. This was about two seconds into the game.
Taken a moment before my imminent demise:
TLOU: I scream whenever I play it. A lot. And loudly. Without realizing it. Basically I’m constantly screaming without realizing it. So obviously, I decided to play TLOU after quiet hours on a school night in my friends’ dorm room. My RA stopped by about an hour into me playing and asked me to stop screaming. I admitted I didn’t realize that I was. All my friends died of laughter.
6. Napoleon Dynamite
I choreographed this dance spring semester of freshman year. It is very successful and very hilariously awkward, which is true to the strange man that is Napoleon Dynamite.
7. Shooting a Nerf Bullet into my eye
The first time I encountered nerf guns was in my junior year of high school during a game of capture the flag. We all were briefed on how to use nerf guns and how you should definitely not point it at your face because, well, that would hurt, y’know. Right after that, totally disregarding any rules, I shot myself in the eyeball. And it was especially bad because I was wearing glasses at the time and still managed to avoid my glasses and shoot myself close range in the eyeball with a nerf bullet.
This past weekend I participated in a talent show put on by the Catholic Studies Department. I did a spoof of Jimmy Fallon’s Ew, but with a Catholic twist. Check it out!
9. Hobo for career day
In senior year we had a career day and because I had no idea what I wanted my career to be in the future I dressed up as a hobo.
I suppose I didn’t want to rule out the option that my career-less future would lead to homelessness...
10. Throwing up at the Dentist
The day before I was supposed to go in for my dentist appointment I had the stomach flu. The morning of I felt a lot better so I went all in and consumed a bunch of mac and cheese. However, when I arrived at the dentist I wasn’t feeling so hot. As I was laying in the dentist’s chair I threw up all over my fuzzy purple sweater. My dentist stared down at me, and the only VERY unhelpful comment that he managed to say was “Wow, SOMEone had mac and cheese for dinner!”
11. Body Rolling at the Seminary
I work at the Major Seminary on my campus through a work study, and the late shifts get really quiet. One night I came out of the bathroom belting some random song and body rolling down the hallways.
As I was rounding the corner, I unfortunately made eye contact with a seminarian who had just come up the stairs.
“Uh, hi. I was just singing to myself.”
Guess what he replied.
“I appreciate it. It’s refreshing.”
Thanks? I think? I’m glad my stupidity can be viewed as refreshing and that it does not simply go to waste.