So you’re a sophomore now. For most of you, the days of Presidential Court and all of its amenities are long gone. This may not seem like a big deal, you’ve been ready to move on from the horrors of freshman year for a while, but there are a few things you will miss.
Ahh PCB, the classiest buffet style eating you’ll ever have, where the pizza is endless and the macaroni is never guaranteed to taste the same. If you’re finding yourself reminiscing, The Odyssey has The Top 10 Ways to Sneak into PCB:
1. Shack – Feeling like a cougar? Finding your way back into the freshman dorms for a night of wonders is a surefire way to earn that deserved PCB meal the next day. Get up in the morning with messy hair, gross breath and the same clothes you had on the night before and truck up those stairs for a hard earned PCB breakfast.
2. Use Dining Dollars – If you’re feeling really adventurous you’ll venture back to pres. court, walk up those stairs and proudly hand your Vol card to the polite ladies of the PCB cash registers. You probably don’t have a meal plan anymore, so wave goodbye to those precious dining dollars. A meal at PCB is at a solid $8, so grab as many of those pre-made chocolate chip cookies as you can. Don’t forget the zip-lock baggies for leftovers!
3. Snag a Friend’s Guest Meal – Call up your freshman bestie and sweet talk your way into one of the most delicious meals you’ll have all semester. Do whatever it takes to make that meal happen. Ex. Your friend’s homework for the next two weeks, done. Laundry for an entire semester, child’s play. You’re not here to joke around, PCB meals are serious business.
4. Complete and Total Overthrow – Prepare the troops and condition them for war. An all out assault on the Presidential Court Bakery has never been attempted, so the time is now. If a victory ensues the triumph will be undeniable and rewards will be plentiful. All the food will be yours, if only for the day, but hey it would be worth it just for those darned chicken patties.
5. Dress up as an Employee – That’s right, time to put all of those precious acting skills to use. Grab an apron, some black shoes, a hair net and start cleaning up after all of those messy freshman. Chances are you’ll have some down time to sneak in a few bites to eat while you’re on duty (or before anyone notices the truth).
6. Steal a Vol Card – It’s just a casual Friday night on the strip. Everyone is turnt up at Rumorz and you’re up on the stage straight gettin’ it when, what do you see? A Vol Card! Immediately you snag that puppy up and stick it in your back pocket, not even attempting to find the owner. Why? Because PCB mealtime that’s why.
7. Get a “To Go Box” – Convince one of your freshman buddies to get you a to-go box of PCB samplings every time you happen to be venturing by Pres Court. It’s a win-win, your friend gets their food and you get yours. It can be as discrete as a drug deal with just as many benefits.
8. Smooth Talk the Cashiers – Use those good ole speech class practices and step on up to smooth talk some old ladies. Just tell them you lost your Vol card in some type of tragic accident (don’t forget to throw in the tears) or slip them a $5 and you’re good to go.
9. Walk Right In – Simple as that, just walk right in there. Don’t make eye contact and don’t communicate. Go get your food as quickly and unnoticeably as you can and then make your escape. Slip in and slip out, easy as pie.
10. Actually Sneak In – As a freshman there was probably at least one time you glanced at the exit doors and thought about how easy it would be to sneak in. Has anyone ever tried? Who knows, so why not be the first person to actually do it, you’ll probably become a legend.
Photo by flickr.com/photos/lisa_yarost/
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