If you're an English-only speaker living in the United States, it's more likely that you'll bump into Spanish than any other language. Tons of U.S. residents speak it as a first or second language, and we're shoulder-to-shoulder with Mexico and Central America. It's fast and intimidating, but as someone who speaks highly questionable Spanish, let me tell you. Knowing even a little is useful. So if you're a total noob to the language, I'm here for you with the top ten things you should know before you try to habla.
1. If it sounds the same, just go with it. Most of the time.
Dirección does mean direction. Televisión does mean television. Cero means zero, normal means normal, fabuloso means fabulous. Spanish is a romantic language, and English is the horrific mutant child of romantic and germanic language families, so there's a lot of nice, helpful overlap. But...
2. Pregunta does not mean pregnant.
This is a relatively famous example, but honestly. Everyone has botched this one at some point in their Spanish-learning career
If you're clearly not fluent in Spanish, someone at some point will say something about questions, and you're gonna need to not think that they just said you're knocked up.
3. Embarazada does not mean embarrassed.
Second verse, same as the first. For some reason, the devil himself interfered in the development of English and Spanish just enough to make pregnancy a total minefield. You have bad Spanish? Someone asks something that sounds like "are you embarrassed?" Even if you are, just shake your head no. Trust.
4. If you need extra time, say pues.
Pues is a great filler word. It basically means "well," as in "well, there's never really a good reason to ask if someone's pregnant." It'll buy you a couple seconds if you can't think how to continue or start a sentence. Find some other options here.
5. Don't be afraid to smile and nod.
Spanish, when you're not in a grammar class, is a pretty emotive language. If a Spanish speaker is angry, if they're asking you a significant question, or if they don't really need your response, you'll usually be able to tell. Plus, like anybody does when there's a language barrier, they're gonna turn up the gesturing for your sake. If they seem like they're just chatting to chat, feel free to smile and pretend like you get it.
6. Look up the curse words.
This is a good idea no matter what language you're learning, but I find that it's really easy to accidentally curse in Spanish. Like, don't talk about pinching anything. Please.
7. Lo siento and Disculpe
Again, a solid practice for any language you learn. You're gonna mess up, or someone's gonna talk too fast for you, and you'll need to know how to apologize. This is probably more important than, like, hola. If you step on someone's foot, they'll be much more likely to let it slide if they understand what you say to them afterward.
8. ¿Repite, por favor?
Don't know what someone said at all? Lo siento, I don't speak Spanish. Think you can get it on the second go, or if they speak a little slower? Repite is your friend. Not only does it sound stilted, which will tip them off that you're not a pro at this, but it indicates that you kind of know what you're doing so they don't give up. I find this one lands best with a little self-deprecating apologetic cringe.
9. Loosen the grip on your tongue.
This is an advanced tip, friends. If you know, like, five words in Spanish, go ahead and keep pronouncing things like a preppy mom on vacation in Cozumel. Clarity is key. But if you want to sound a little bit less rigid, try talking like you're tipsy, or maybe really tired. You don't pronounce every letter in an English word, right?
10. Don't say te llamo.
I know it seems logical, because you would say me llamo Brad or whatever, but just don't. Either make sure you're about to say te llamas or just wait for them to introduce themselves.
En serio.
