1. Your photo features you and all of your closest bros.
This is a classic tactic used by unattractive guys to hide and all of us ladies have caught on. You put up a profile photo of you standing next to your most attractive friend, we swipe through your photos hoping it's the attractive friend, and 10/10 times it's not. Thus, any experienced swiper will swipe left if there's more than one person in the photo.
2. Your bio says you're just looking for a BDSM submissive.
Save that for Craigslist! Seriously! Just because you wrote that does not give you a Christian Grey aura of attractiveness.
3. You're holding a dead animal.
This seems obvious and yet I can't tell you the number of times I've seen guys holding giant dead fish and deer they caught (probably my proximity to Montana). This may have been attractive in the days of hunter-gatherers but we have supermarkets now, so put those carcasses down.
4. You have a cute animal as your profile photo or hiding your entire face in your photo.
Another classic tactic used by unattractive guys. Any experienced swiper knows that the cuter the animal, the less cute the guy hiding behind it.
5. You're clearly over 40.
Get back in your ice cream truck, ya lazy pedophile.
6. Your selfie is way too close up.
If your camera is so close to your face you can see pores, there's an issue. If you can't take a decent selfie, how can we have faith you'll be able to do more complicated tasks like pick a dinner restaurant or hold a conversation?
7. You only posted selfies.
This translates to "I have no friends or family who could take a photograph," which is always a red flag.
8. You put way too much effort into your bio.
Sincerity is sweet, but nobody swipes right out of pity. Any bio along with the lines of "I'm only looking for committed relationships so only message me if you're serious" screams desperate. Try Eharmony.
9. You only have one or two photos up.
This raises the catfish red flag. If you're for real, post three photos at least, and if you're going to catfish someone, don't be lazy and pose as someone who has at least three photos!
