As much as we know our boyfriends and husbands love us, there are those moments that we do something that is so incredibly annoying that they might wish, for a short minute, that they were single. They get that look in their eye that, although full of love and adornment, also reads "are you serious right now?" But as you know, we have good intentions and legitimate reasons for the things we do.
1. When our casserole overflows and burns the inside of the oven.
So listen, we were just trying to be nice and throw together 2 great casseroles - one sweet, one savory - for your college frat guys in town and it just so happened that we underestimated the the size of the dish. A few drops onto the oven floor and the next thing you know, the entire house reeks of burn and smoke. And so maybe it confirmed your assumption that we can't cook, but you just wait. Next time will be better. We can totally cook!
2. When we have to be somewhere at 6:00 but we’re not quite ready until 6:15.
Whatever happened to fashionably late? You have to remember that we are simply trying to be your trophy girl. Also, we may have procrastinated with the cocktail you made us because we told you it would make the primping go faster and smoother if we just pre-gamed a bit. You cannot be mad at our effort.
3. When we put our cold feet on them in bed.
So contrary to popular belief, we do not soak our feet in ice water before we crawl into bed. There must be a scientific reason for having frozen toes - even in the summer - but for now, make yourselves useful and warm up our feet!
4. When we become personal heaters in bed after our feet warm up.
Girls love a good snuggle sesh before we doze off. We can't help that our body temperature raises yours to the equivalent of a menopausal woman having a hot flash.
5. When football is on TV but our BFF from sophomore year of college just got engaged on Facebook and we HAVE to talk about it!
This is big news! And while we understand that football is on for the 15 weekend in a row, it is vital that we vent about how this girl is getting married to her high school sweetheart that she cheated on like 4 times in college and how their wedding is probably going to end up on TheKnot Instagram feed because it will be "AMAZE" and how we should probably start that diet because, of course, we'll get the invite! Okay?
6. When we ask for their advice on what to wear but then we don’t take it.
Sometimes we need your advice on things. Other times we need your advice on things but are really only asking your opinion because it throws off our entire day if we don't say the words, "how should I wear my hear," or "do these shoes look hoochie?"
7. When we drive.
8. When we make passive aggressive comments about rings, marriage, babies, the list goes on.
But all of our friends are getting engaged and having babies! And think of it this way, if a girl is not commenting aggressively on the recently engaged friends' huge ring or all of the friends on Facebook having babies and how "our baby will be so cute" then you might as well guarantee your #relationshipgoals are null.
9. When we talk about how much weight we’ve gained but then they agree in a nice way and we get mad.
This is a no-win. We understand that you are being honest or nice by agreeing with us, but then we start thinking that you have already thought about the fact that we've gained a little weight and that the girl we ran into at the graduation party last weekend looked so great in those skinny jeans and maybe if we lost more weight then all of the other things that make you wish you were single might really happen like maybe we can finally make that Pinterest board public. We should probably stop drinking wine on Monday nights during The Bachelorette.
10. When we want to take a picture….or 10. #selfie
Nothing says "I'm not into myself" more than a selfie with another person. The person, rightfully so, is you. It comes with the territory and look how cute we are! So maybe it takes a couple shots to get it right. Think of how many likes we'll get when we add that Valencia filter! Plus we can tag it with so many cute hashtags!
So maybe girls can be a bit...annoying. But at the end of the day, we're happy that you aren't single, because you're ours and we love you!
We also love watching you squirm which is why we are guilty in the act of all of the above.