When I was a child, my friends and I used to play a "game," asking each other, "Are you a tomboy or a girly girl?" We would answer and giggle and move on with our lives. I truly, sincerely hope that little girls these days don't play that game anymore.
I'm sure many would ask why this question is so problematic. It just seems like a silly question kids ask each other to make friends, but it means so much more than that.
When we ask that question, we're giving women two choices to define who they are. We put them on the spot and ask them to put all of who they are into less than two words. When we ask, "tomboy or girly girl?" we ask women to force themselves into a box.
Why is it so impossible to understand that women are allowed to be dynamic, complicated people? Like human beings are? Women cannot be forced into a single word explanation of themselves, because women cannot be explained in a single word. Women do not deserve being forced to align themselves by two stereotypes that cannot be 100 percent applied to any women today.
In fact, the entire statement just bothers me. "Tomboy" and "girly girl." They, frankly, don't make sense. The first implies overalls and striped shirts, dirty faces and roughhousing with boys. The second implies pink tutus and extra shiny lip gloss, waving around a fairy wand and playing with Barbies. If we allow ourselves to put children into these "boxes," imagine what we must do to adult women. Why are women not allowed to like more than one thing; why are they not allowed to be complicated?
I still see pictures all over social media about "other girls" vs "me," where one portrays a stereotypical "girly" thing to like and the other is a more "modern" ideal. Why are women not allowed to like or want both?
It is important to understand that women are allowed to be complicated. We are allowed to want to do our makeup and curl our hair, just as we are allowed to want to wear boots and work with our hands. The girl who goes out and parties is allowed to like to read. The stereotypical awkward, "nerdy" girl we are all SO in love with is allowed to look and feel beautiful. The girl who is majoring in engineering is allowed to like to paint. We do not need to shove women entirely into one characteristic and not allow them to be anything else. We must allow women to be complex and fluid people, as we should be.
So, next time you laugh at a picture that's comparing women who like makeup to women who like tattoos, just think. Think about the complexity that women are allowed to have. Think about how ridiculous it is to force women into these stereotypical roles. Think about "tomboy" versus "girly girl."
