Everyone pretty much knows what a Tomboy is. For those of you who don’t, a Tomboy is a young woman who is more interested in more “masculine things” than the stereotypical feminine things. This could include any/all types of sports, cars, mechanical work, and so on and so forth. It is a pretty common term and has been since the 1900s or even before. What we don’t hear quite as often is the term “Tomgirl." Well, it’s the same as Tomboy… only opposite.
The term is slowly becoming popular with the help of Benji Carlisle and a number of other popular Instagram males. Benji was Amber Rose’s assistant for a long time and could be seen alongside her in many photographs throughout the last few years. On his Instagram page, you can see #TomGirlsWeExist in almost every picture and video. Each picture is different than the one before it, showing off his masculine and feminine sides. That’s pretty much what a Tomgirl is: someone who is comfortable in himself or herself who doesn’t mind trying things that would generally confuse and possibly outrage society.
A Tomgirl is a guy who is interested in more feminine things. No, he doesn’t want to be a woman or transgender, that’s not the case at all. A Tomgirl could be a homosexual, bisexual, or even a heterosexual male (I know, shocking). The Tomgirl shows more interest in things such as makeup, hair extensions, jewelry, “feminine clothing," and/or shoes. The Tomgirl, just like the Tomboy, doesn’t have to be interested in all of the above, but at least in some of them. The beautiful thing about Tomgirls is that they literally don’t give a damn about what society thinks about them. They take pride in who they are, and believe it or not, they seem to have more confidence and are more emotionally secure than most men.
In a sense, I can kind of identify with being a Tomgirl. Mostly because, ever since I was a kid, I’ve always had this fascination with long hair. I wanted it back then, but my parents made me get haircuts almost every few weeks. After I got old enough to make my own decisions, I decided to grow my hair out and get dreadlocks. They were cool for a while, but after a few years I decided on a change. After I cut my hair I “discovered” hair extensions. My brain told me to go for it, but I was scared of what people would think of me. I knew if I went for it that I would be one of the only ones in my area to try it out, and I live in a fairly small town. Then after much deliberation, I decided, what the hell? We only get one life anyway, why waste it wondering “what if?"
I was encouraged in my decision to be “bold” while seeing other men, both masculine and feminine, wearing weave without a care in the world. What’s more, their followers on Instagram adored them and always gave them compliments on their hair. My close circle of friends helped encourage me too, telling me that if it’s something that I really wanted, then they would stand behind me. I started out wearing hair from Kendra's Boutique, and never went back... yet. There are some that are ignorant--they say I'm just trying to be too progressive. I’ve heard people question whether I wanted to transition into a woman, and I have to correct them: No, I’m a guy. I just really like my hair.
Despite what society may think, and make no mistake, Tomgirls are still men. Tomgirls can enjoy doing all sorts of things that society sees as masculine, but they’re not afraid to embrace their feminine side as well. That’s what makes it so awesome and inspiring! There are a lot of guys out there who don’t know that this term even exists, but find themselves fitting in this category. A number of men, no matter what sexual orientation, can enjoy embracing who they are and who they want to become without having to fit into the little box that most people try to fit in.
I believe that the whole idea of what is masculine and what is feminine is ridiculous. Men, way back when, used to wear tights, long skirts, wigs, and whatever else, but somebody decided one day that men are supposed to look, sound, and act a certain way. If they didn’t do that, then they had to be “queer” or different. There really is no such thing as normal, and there is no one way to live life. So whether you’re a Tomboy, Tomgirl, straight, gay, bi, alien, or whatever make sure that you’re being true to who you are.
