Don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of "The Bachelor" and "Bachelor in Paradise" just as much as the next person. I live for the drama and root for my favorite person to make it to the end.
But... I don't think that these shows portray an accurate picture of what today's dating scene should look like.
Today's dating scene is all about dating apps and online dating sites. We base so much of our attraction to a person on their looks. Many apps like Bumble and Tinder only show a picture of the person and maybe a couple of facts about them such as their music interests and where they are from and, based on this information, you are supposed to decide whether or not you want to date them.
It's basically "shopping" for your significant other.
While you might be stuck in a situation where this is the best way for you to find people to date, I think it still sets a bad precedent for the rest of your relationship.
I want a relationship where the person starts dating me based off of who I am as a person, first and foremost. Yes, of course I hope they are attracted to me as well, but that shouldn't be the only thing.
I want a man who pursues me for more than just my looks.
Too often on shows like "Bachelor in Paradise" the contestants make comments such as "she is so crazy attractive," or "he looks so hot" when they talk about wanting to go on a date with a new arrival. Suddenly they are head over heels for this person they know absolutely nothing about.
And I realize that we all do this at some point or other in the initial attraction phase, but the issues come when looks become the most important point. I definitely think that this is why so many "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" couples fail.
We just heard about all the issues with Jordan and Jenna's relationship. But, when it gets down to it, whether or not the allegations and texts are real, how much could they have really known about each other after only being on a reality show for a few weeks and then getting engaged.
I think that it is for the best that they will now have more time to explore what they both really want in a partner.
Landon and Jamie in "A Walk to Remember" have the right idea. There is physical attraction, but Landon pursues Jamie not only for this, but also because he respects how good of a person she is. She makes him into a better person by being with her. And once he realizes this, he goes out of his way to court her and daily pursue ways to make her happy.
This is real love. This is what I want to find in a partner... someone who loves me even when I am sick, even when I am angry and even when my "attractiveness" is gone.
Say goodbye to the hook-ups and one-night-stand culture we have cultivated. Ghosting people is just rude and disrespectful.
Men and women, step up your game. Men, pursue and court a woman like she deserves. And women, show men that you respect them by not accepting anything less in the ones who pursue you to date.
