online dating and dating apps

Today's Dating Scene Is Too Much Like 'Bachelor In Paradise' And Not Enough Like 'A Walk To Remember'

We have become too much of a hook-up culture and it's time we stopped.

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Don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of "The Bachelor" and "Bachelor in Paradise" just as much as the next person. I live for the drama and root for my favorite person to make it to the end.

But... I don't think that these shows portray an accurate picture of what today's dating scene should look like.

Today's dating scene is all about dating apps and online dating sites. We base so much of our attraction to a person on their looks. Many apps like Bumble and Tinder only show a picture of the person and maybe a couple of facts about them such as their music interests and where they are from and, based on this information, you are supposed to decide whether or not you want to date them.

It's basically "shopping" for your significant other.

While you might be stuck in a situation where this is the best way for you to find people to date, I think it still sets a bad precedent for the rest of your relationship.

I want a relationship where the person starts dating me based off of who I am as a person, first and foremost. Yes, of course I hope they are attracted to me as well, but that shouldn't be the only thing.

I want a man who pursues me for more than just my looks.

Too often on shows like "Bachelor in Paradise" the contestants make comments such as "she is so crazy attractive," or "he looks so hot" when they talk about wanting to go on a date with a new arrival. Suddenly they are head over heels for this person they know absolutely nothing about.

And I realize that we all do this at some point or other in the initial attraction phase, but the issues come when looks become the most important point. I definitely think that this is why so many "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" couples fail.

We just heard about all the issues with Jordan and Jenna's relationship. But, when it gets down to it, whether or not the allegations and texts are real, how much could they have really known about each other after only being on a reality show for a few weeks and then getting engaged.

I think that it is for the best that they will now have more time to explore what they both really want in a partner.

Landon and Jamie in "A Walk to Remember" have the right idea. There is physical attraction, but Landon pursues Jamie not only for this, but also because he respects how good of a person she is. She makes him into a better person by being with her. And once he realizes this, he goes out of his way to court her and daily pursue ways to make her happy.

This is real love. This is what I want to find in a partner... someone who loves me even when I am sick, even when I am angry and even when my "attractiveness" is gone.

Say goodbye to the hook-ups and one-night-stand culture we have cultivated. Ghosting people is just rude and disrespectful.

Men and women, step up your game. Men, pursue and court a woman like she deserves. And women, show men that you respect them by not accepting anything less in the ones who pursue you to date.

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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7 Things To Remember When You're Sad About Being Single

I don't need a significant other, I have my significant self.

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Let's stop the stigma around being single. Those who aren't in a relationship are not "weak," "missing out," "lonely," etc. We're doing just fine on our own, honey. There may be many plus sides of being in a relationship such as having a cuddle buddy, someone who, without a doubt, will always buy you food, or sharing your love for in each other in endless, cute ways. Buuuuttt... let's not forget these reasons why being single can be so amazing!

1. You save money 

Less shopping for you on Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. SAVE THAT MONEY, HONEY!

2. You can flirt with whoever you want...

...for the most part, at least. Definitely not if they already have a significant other. But now, you don't have to feel guilty for having googly eyes for someone else!

3. You can completely unplug whenever 

You don't have to worry about constantly keeping tabs on someone. No more answering to someone's every call. You can go completely tech-free whenever!

4. You have more time...

...to find yourself, love yourself, and put yourself first. Also, just more time to watch Netflix and hang with family and friends.

5. You are saying goodbye to heartbreak 

No one can breakup with you if you're single, #facts.

6. Everything you do is for yourself 

Decision making can be hard as it is, so making decisions that benefit you AND another person can be draining. Now, you don't have to worry about making someone else happy.

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