There are those days. The days where every single emotion you could feel courses through you, and pulls every bit of energy out of your bones. The days where your heart feels like if you put one more thing on it, it may break completely under the sheer weight of it all. Or, the days where your brain is so full that if you thought of one more thing, it may burst from being so overwhelmed. The days that lead to you just being done with all of your feelings.

For me, this week has been full of those days.

This past week was finals week. That should explain to most of you where a lot of these feelings are coming from. However, on top of the four finals in classes that I could’ve easily failed, so many other things happened. I went through a major Facebook purge, deleting or unfollowing every person who doesn’t hold an important place in my life, at least not anymore. This led to having to make the conscious decision to revisit a particular relationship and decide to not make it a priority in my life anymore because it meant more to me than that person. As a person greatly against change and far too forgiving of people who hurt me, this was an incredibly exhausting and draining experience.

After this, I then had to deal with roommate issues greater than ever before, friend drama that was way too intense, and inviting some people back into my life whom I thought would be gone forever. Needless to say, every day was full of more drama and emotion than most people would like to experience in a month.

Today, I was done with feelings.

Today, I was done with the confessions and heartbreak, done with feeling like an idiot because tests give me anxiety and I can never put down what I understand on paper. I was done with not getting enough sleep because I’m so worried about what’s happening while my eyes are closed. Done with the caring too much about others and not taking care of myself and my own heart. Done with giving people too many chances. Done with reliving relationships that probably weren’t that great for me to begin with, and done with carrying everything and not telling anyone.

So what happens on these days? The days when you just want it to be done. When for once, you just want to walk through life numb. When you just want a break from the craziness and feel a peace that seems out of reach. How do you find it?

For every person, there are days, weeks, months, and even years that break you. Every negative emotion can easily overwhelm and make you just want to scream and yell and punch a hole in whatever you see.

But with every negative feeling, there’s potentially a positive one hiding.

This week, in the midst of it all, I removed poor influences from my life and felt a release. I got through classes I thought I couldn’t because I worked hard. I had meaningful conversations to help other people get things off of their chest that they’ve been carrying around for far too long. I supported friends as they tried new things and stretched out of their comfort zones. I let myself cry and grow. I grew relationships with people and found more out about myself. I lived and didn’t give up.

So, yes, today I felt done with feelings. All I saw was the negative ones that have overwhelmed me and hurt me. All I saw was the shadows that pulled at me. But life’s not just full of the shadows. There’s always the light that the shadows are trying to take away. This week was hard and I would not relive it if you paid me, but it’s nothing that people haven’t been through before or won’t go through again.

Feelings are a beautiful and horrible thing. They’re used to bring us our highest highs, but also our lowest lows. We can claim that life would be so much easier if they would just slow down or go away for a minute, but then, how would we feel the good? How would feel the love, the hope, the release, the accomplishment, the joy, the laughter, the friendship, the peace?

That’s how I get through days like today. That’s why I can’t allow myself to just feel numb. I find the good in the bad. I ignore the people and the emotions that get me down and see what they’re trying to hide from me. Because no matter what has happened, I can promise, there’s always some good that’s trying to find its way to you. And that good is a freaking beautiful thing.