Today I Got Cat-Called
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Today I Got Cat-Called

An extremely sarcastic explanation of why cat-calling is bad.

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Today I Got Cat-Called
ABC News

Today, while walking to my car, I had the most wonderful thing happen. I suppose the outfit I was wearing looked good on me, or was alluring in some fashion. It must have been, because I got noticed by a couple of guys.

There were two guys in this car that pulled up next to me. One was driving, the other was leaning out of the passenger window. The car slowed down when it neared me. The man hanging out of the window screamed, "Nice tits!" and then they sped off. I sure wish they had hung around so I could have thanked them. After all, I had just received such a flattering compliment! My t-shirt and shorts must have been so sexy they couldn't refrain from telling me how nice my breasts were. I am shocked that my simple, comfortable outfit was so hot. But, then again, I suppose I was showing a fair amount of skin; after all, it was about 85 degrees outside so I had worn clothing accordingly. I know shorts and t-shirts can be too much for some people, what with skin above my knees and elbows being exposed. It was a pretty scandalous outfit, I know. So honestly I should have been expecting someone to notice. I was basically asking for them to cat call me, with my extremely slutty outfit. I'm surprised they didn't do more than cat-call me, since I was so obviously asking for it.

But really, I wish they could've stayed for a moment linger. I really wanted to thank them and give them my number. After all, the best way to meet men is by having them holler at you on the street. I really wanted a nice, long-lasting relationship with the man that screamed "Nice tits!" at me from his car.

That is such a promising sign of a good, healthy relationship to come. Or he could have even gotten my number and we could have had a one night stand. That's what happens when you cat-call someone, right? You either have sex or form a wonderful relationship. It obviously couldn't go any differently. It obviously wouldn't lead to a girl feeling violated and scared of what could happen to her if those men decided to stop their car or follow her. It obviously wouldn't male the girl feel anything but flattered and full of pride in herself. It obviously wouldn't insult the girl, since her clothes, nay her existence, is "asking for it". She obviously wants nothing more than you to yell obscenities at her and potentially violate, molest, or rape her.

Cat-calling is the best thing ever. I'm so glad it happened to me today. You know, I was feeling a little bad about my body. A little unattractive. I really needed that boost of confidence from some random man yelling at me out of a moving car that I have "nice tits". That really mad me feel so much better about myself. It definitely didn't make me want to wear a giant tent around so no one could ever see my body again and therefore never have anyone else make another comment about it.

I just really love being cat-called. It's not like it is a part of and in support of rape culture or anything.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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