Yesterday you moved in and now you have a final every day, three projects and two essays all due one after another. So what happened? It’s simple really: those pesky finals snuck up on you while you weren’t looking. A shame really, but you’ll make it through. But while you’re eating copious amounts of ramen and hitting the books, here’s some praise for being you and doing what it is you do, whatever that is.
1. Here’s to the student that has never pulled an all-nighter before.
So you’ve never pulled an all-nighter? Well here’s your time to shine buddy...or rather, here’s your time to learn to love coffee, Monster and loud music. And always remember, if you need motivation, your deadline is tomorrow morning. Now go through the motions of working and crank out 10+ pages of totally average work.
2. Here’s to the student that is hiding in their pillow fort refusing to be an adult.
No better way to insulate yourself from responsibility than with pillows, blankets and regret! Who needs a college degree when you’re royalty in the pillow kingdom? So relive your childhood and reject the thought of being a “fully functioning, self-sufficient adult,” whatever that is.
3. Here’s to the student that swears they’ll start their diet after finals.
So who cares if your “Freshman 15” is beginning to turn into your “Sophomore 30?” You’re too busy with your studies to worry about how unhealthy it is to eat an entire box of Pop Tarts in one sitting. You know that you’re going to hit up that gym when you get back home, so it’s best to not waste time getting hung up on trivial things like “physical health.”
4. Here’s to the student that overslept for their first two finals.
Whether it be from studying too late or just a complete disregard for punctuality, you happened to miss your first final. It’s fine, mistakes happen every once in a while and we understand. It was when you slept through the second final that you might have lost us.
5. Here’s to the student that only cried three times while studying.
We believe you when you say usually don't cry this often, or in public for that matter, but what else are you supposed to do when you’re drowning in work? Be productive and finish so you no longer have to worry about it? No way, better just take another cry break instead.
6. Here’s to the student that doesn’t have to study for any finals.
Congratulations on all of your great work! You really deserve it! I mean we all kind of hate you for breezing through life so effortlessly and we wish we didn’t have to go through the painstaking effort of working nonstop for the last semester. Still, we’re very proud of you and secretly want to be you.
7. Here’s to the student buying their friends food with excess dining money.
You’re the hero we want and need. You singlehandedly turn water into Dr. Pepper and regular old French fries into premium curly fries. For this last week when we are all broke, starved college students, you are royalty.
Regardless of the many quirks of finals week, good luck on all of your finals! Have a suggestion for a toast? Leave it down below!
