You question your value. You believe you are expendable. You believe you are dispensable. You believe no one loves you. You believe no one cares. You believe your close friends no longer want to be bothered with you. Know you are not alone.

I know that feeling. I understand it so well. Some days I can fight off these thoughts and feelings. Other days, I am drowning in them. Some days I need to spend time with people because I can’t be alone.

I know you question whether your friends are actually your friends or if they just pity you. I know you wish it was socially acceptable to say, “I’m having a tough day, I need to know if you still care about me.” But, even if it was, whatever your friend says, which will most likely be, “Of course I still care,” you will doubt their answer.

I get my value from helping others, it’s never from myself. I wish I could hang onto the times where I am like, “yeah, I don’t suck. I’m a good person. I’m a good friend. I deserve happiness and love.” I never have days where I’m like “Hell yeah, I’m awesome. People like me.”

The constant struggle sucks. It sucks a lot. But it also means that I am empathetic to others who experience very similar feelings, doubts, and just a lot of self-loathing. It means I can help those who are drowning in the sea when I am on the beach and can throw a lifeline.

But as Aslan said, “You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are.” I try to remember this every day and so should you.